Turn in your fatigues, soldiers: The One Woman Army has been officially dismantled.
This week, reigning Queen of Crunk-R&B Ciara unceremoniously jumped ship (wait, sorry—that’s Navy) and threw away the title of her endlessly delayed fifth studio album, replacing it with something a little more…personal (raw).
And that’s not all: She’s also unveiled the album cover—and it’s bound to have y’all back-bending in your lucite stiletto Converses and F-L-Y fanny packs. Gimmie dat art!
BEHOLD: THE GREATNESS THAT IS…CIARA.
Bask in the glory! Soak it up! It really is the greatest album cover of 2013 so far, no? CiCi better CC me—with the name of her graphic designer.
Additionally, in an impressive level of ratchery, CiCi began revealing the album’s tracklisting piece-by-piece on Instagram over the weekend, flooding all of our timelines with basic font fuckery and all sorts of grammar abuse in the process. And the tracklisting goes…
1. “I’m Out” (featuring Nicki Minaj)
3. “Body Party” (Mike WiLL Made It)
4. “Keep on Lookin'”
5. “Read My Lips”
6. “Where You Go” (feat. Future)
7. “Super Turnt Up” (feat. Ciara)
9. “Livin’ It Up”
As you can see, “Sweat,” “Sorry” and “Got Me Good”—the album’s three “buzz singles”—did not make the final cut. Sure, we’re being told now to look down, avert our eyes and pretend like none of that ever happened, but we still know it happened. WE WILL ALWAYS KNOW. I, for one, will not soon forget the pain of my aching backs and my too-tight bra.
But most importantly, the Wynter Gordon-penned “Livin’ It Up” and “Overdose,” the greatest Ciara song ever (which we haven’t heard in full yet), are both finally seeing the light of day! (Well, assuming the album does.) Glory be.
And yet, there are still so many questions at hand:
+ Will “Overdose” finally be given the single treatment?
+ Will we be subjected to something like “Body Party (Remix)” instead?
+ Why does a Ciara song “feature” Ciara herself?
+ Are you super turnt up about the news?
+ What’s a ‘turnt’?
+ Did Mike WiLL Make It?
+ If Mike WiLL didn’t make it, is it still a hit?
+ Wait, I thought Jazzy made it?
+ If she’s no longer “Sorry,” does that make her Unapologetic?
+ Has the bra situation been addressed?
+ Speaking of addresses, does anyone know the address for the body party?
I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.