SMURF YOUR ENTIRE SMURF.
“Ooh La La,” Britney‘s contribution to the soundtrack of The Smurfs 2, has finally been leaked upon the Interwebz—on International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia no less, yet another milestone in Britney’s tireless career as a LGBT warrior—and the results are pure, summery Smurfish delight.
Let’s break it down now — show me what you got!
The premise: You are smurfing beautiful. It doesn’t matter how much money you have or how many smurfs you’ve smurfed. Let’s just run away and smurf all night.
The production: Dr. Luke, Ammo, Cirkut
The writers: Bonnie McKee, J Kash, Lola Blanc, Fransisca Hall
The singer: The Legendary Miss Britney Spears
The background: “I just wrote something for Britney Spears for the Smurfs movie, which was a really funny assignment because it’s for the Smurfs movie so it has to family friendly but it’s Britney Spears so it has to be a Britney Spears radio song. And Britney Spears is just all sex all day. So how many sexual innuendos can I come up with that aren’t too painfully obvious for the parents to get upset about. That was an interesting challenge,” Bonnie told The Hollywood Reporter in April.
The dedication: “I’m at the studio recording a new song for my boys. They are going to freak out when they hear it. So excited!” Queen B tweeted on January 30.
The boys:
Sounds Like: It’s a shimmering, summery guitar-led track with a punchy pulse, very similar to Madonna‘s “Superstar” off of MDNA (“Ooh la la, you’re my superstar!”). The girlish, baby B vocals are pure “Brave New Girl” delight, the verses are Martin Solveig‘s “Hello”-esque and the “anti-chorus” construction provides the slightest hint of “Hold It Against Me” (“My heart beats fast” = “If I said my heart was beating loud…”), or Carl Falk‘s crunchy pop productions for One Direction.
The vocals: Flaw-free and Spearitual, obviously—and slightly pitched-up? Smurfs friendly!
The best part: The pre-choruses, for sure: “You know can’t nobody get down like us! We don’t stop ’til we get enough!” Queen B yelps. It’s very in-your-face and Cockyney, a la “Do Somethin'” or “Don’t Keep Me Waiting,” with just the slightest hint of Britishney creeping in between the syllables to sip Smurf sweet tea and eat crumpets.
The beat breakdown: It’s an ultra-vocoded dance floor happy foot shuffle that builds in a very will.i.am-ish way, like “Big Fat Bass.” The smurfs are getting smurf-ah.
“Best Original Song” Oscar contender probability: Very likely to almost guaranteed.
The conclusion: “Ooh La La” is no “Till The World Ends,” but it’s still a super cute, funky and urban track that plays just as a song written for a movie about magical little gnomes should. There’s simply no way you could possibly be blue while listening to “Ooh La La” — even if you’re a smurf.
UPDATE: According to Britney, it’s just a demo! The real thing drops on June 16. Keep calm and smurf on.
