Like a pheonix rising from the ashes—or a lotus growing within a stinky, mud-filled swamp—Legendtina has risen again.
The past few months have proven to be quite trying for the “F.U.S.S.” siren: Not only has Legendtina suffered a merciless smear campaign launched by the New York Times, but the Ms. Goduilera Bionic/Lotus Experience World Tour—the very tour she left The Voice to embark upon—remains frustratingly nonexistent.
But all is not lost: There’ve been incredible highs and endless amounts of #lotuspromo, including Time Magazine‘s long-awaited crowning of Legendtina as The Most Influential Artist of All Artists In The History of Ever.
Just last week, the songstress blessed fans with a Spanish-language treat of the non-Pitbull variety: Her cover of Miguel Gallardo‘s 1975 classic, “Hoy Tengo Ganas De Ti,” featuring Alejandro Fernandez, which will be used for a telenovela called La tempestad (and, presumably, her Univision reality TV docu-series, LevantaSAY, lotos: Las aventuras de Legendtina.)
The sweet scent of success is wafting through the air, stronger than ever—and it smells like Christina Aguilera By Day.
Legendtina has already begun shooting the video for “Hoy Tengo Ganas De Ti,” and she’s decided to give us a sneak peek today on Twitter. Hold onto your bobbleheads, y’all—’cause she’s about to have you spinning round in circles on her middle, middle dedo…
¡ASI ME GUSTA MAMI!
The Legend is looking right, tight and not herself tonight: No Kool-Aid hair extensions? No Ed Hardy trucker hats? What’s with this new, svelte look and sleek styling?
Is it a diet consisting of only sex for breakfast? Daily exercise consisting of one to two hours of hardcore desnudate-ing? Or has her BFF Godney‘s Shape spread simply provided some inspiration?
Update: It appears Legendtina really was inspired by The Holy Spearit, because she’s posing at the very same window that Brit Brit used for the Femme Fatale photo shoot. True lovers of balconies!
Legendtina should really be singing “Hoy Tengo Todos Los Wigs” at this point, because almost every other pop star is suddenly bald, upset and hurrying down to Barnes and Noble to pick up a Rosetta Stone.