RISE UP, LOTUS, RISE.
Following the news of Daft Punk‘s “Get Lucky” partnership with Durex, internationally renowned recording artist, Grammy Award-winning music icon and TIME Magazine’s Most Influential Artist of Ever Legendtina Goduilera is excited to announce the release of the #LOTUSPROMO LOVE GLOVE®, the first-ever promotional Lotus condom.
The finely crafted condom comes packaged with a thick coating of lotus-based lubricant, harvested exclusively from the Mi Reflejo flower grown in the Desnudate Desert in the Lower Woohoo Canyons. Heavily scented with Christina Aguilera by Night, this unbreakable condom offers the perfect fit for all true lovers of responsible intercourse: “I believe every fan Around The World deserves a condom as strong and enduring as my career to strap onto their Army of Me and safely spin their lovers in Circles,” says the spokeslegend.
The XXL-sized condom comes ribbed for his or her pleasure, with ridges crafted to replicate the exact chart fluctuations of “Your Body” on the Billboard Hot 100. In addition, each individual condom comes bundled with a voucher for one digital download of both Bionic and Lotus, as well as an iTunes gift code for a free download of Legendtina’s iconic La Tempestad theme song, “Hoy Tengo Ganas De Ti.”
As a fierce LGBT warrior and champion of equality, Legendtina’s #LOTUSPROMO LOVE GLOVE® will be offered exclusively at gay-friendly retailers only, including JCPenney, Taco Bell and the Sean Cody web store.
(Note: This condom does not guarantee protection against all STDS, nor shady attacks by the New York Times.)
Are you ready to feel this moment, fans?