madonna grill

Madonna, Queen of Pop (and B-Day Girl), is wearing a grill. And she refuses to implement the Power of Good-Bye.

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It started — as we all assumed — as a joke of some sort on Instagram. “Ha!” we delighted ignorantly. “A grill! How silly.”

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Then, it kept happening. “It’s an homage to Dita!” we nervously reasoned. “Erotica 2.0!”

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But it just kept popping up. Again and again. “How urban,” Britney noted while scrolling through Instagram and pouring some Christmas-scented potpourri into a bowl in her home.

381814EP

She went paintballing with Brahim and the children in the South of France. With a grill.

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And as recently as yesterday, she showed up to the opening of Hard Candy Fitness in Rome — with the fucking grill.

HELP.

Unless there’s a sequel to 2008’s Hard Candy in the works or #SecretProject was actually just an elaborate way of doing some #SecretDentalWork, this must be put to an end at once before it becomes frozen (REFERENCE) on her face forever.

Perhaps it’s just a cruel joke by Lourdes (“Seriously, all the cool moms are doing it!”), or an inventive way to restrict herself from ingesting anything other than a liquified blend of fig, kale and virgin blood. Maybe it’s a knee-jerk reaction to Miley Cyrus‘ general being. Either way, it is wrong, it is cruel and it is hurtful.

DEFEND MADONNA’S MOUTH.