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Snapchat my heart and say our love will never die, Britney Jean

Last night, while you were out putting in “Work Bitch” in da clurb and practicing those iconic dance tutorial moves, the enchanting mistress was settling in at home, pouring out some Christmas-scented potpourri and sending Snapchats to random #blessed fans with teasers to her upcoming “effortlessly iconic” Sia-penned ballad, “Perfume.”

Y’know, casual.

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There was this one, featuring a (likely stolen) vanilla candle and some subtle #FantasyPromo…

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A crazy ex-girlfriend mirror note left in blood-red lipstick, The Shining style. Her friend Legendtina must have stopped by for that one…

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A “Dear Diary” moment. Dear diary, today I smelled a boy…

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Plus, she revealed the gorgeous single artwork. It looks like she’s having a “My Prerogative” moment in 2013, no?

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Then, this morning, MetroLyrics got the exclusive reveal of the “Perfume” lyrics (yes, they’re real) — so if you’re waiting for B to call (or Snapchat), just try to act natural and check ’em out below.

And while you’re still on Snapchat, don’t forget to send Britney all of your lovin’ (selfies and dick pics, mainly) — the girl needs something to do while she’s sitting there at the boys’ soccer games.

UPDATE: According to E! Online, “Perfume” will premiere tomorrow on Facebook. Begin shaking, crying and spritzing now.

Do I imagine it, or do I see your stare
Is there still longing there?
Oh I hate myself, and I feel crazy
Such a classic tale
Current girl friend, ex girlfriend, I’m trying to be cool
Am I being paranoid, am I seeing things?
Am I just insecure?

I want to believe
It’s just you and me
Sometimes it feels like there’s three
of us in here baby

CHORUS

So I, wait for you to call
And I try to act natural
have you been thinking ’bout her or about me
And while I wait I put on my perfume, yeah I want it all over you
I gotta mark my territory

I’ll never tell, tell on myself but I hope she smells my perfume
I’ll never tell, tell on myself but I hope she smells your perfume
I hide it well, hope you can’t tell but I hope she smells my perfume
I hide it well, hope you can’t tell but I hope she smells my perfume

I wanna fill the room, when she’s in it with you
Please don’t forget me
Do I imagine it, or catch these moments
I know you got history

But I’m your girlfriend, now I’m your girlfriend trying to be cool
I hope I’m paranoid, that I’m just seeing things
That I’m just insecure

I want to believe
It’s just you and me
Sometimes it feels like there’s three
of us in here baby

CHORUS

So I, wait for you to call
And I try to act natural
have you been thinking ’bout her or about me
And while I wait I put on my perfume, yeah I want it all over you
I gotta mark my territory

I’ll never tell, tell on myself but I hope she smells my perfume
I’ll never tell, tell on myself but I hope she smells your perfume
I hide it well, hope you can’t tell but I hope she smells my perfume
I hide it well, hope you can’t tell but I hope she smells my perfume

Get ready to smell all of the tears.

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“Perfume” will be released on November 5. (iTunes)