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The America With ‘Glitter’ on Top of the Charts Is the America I Believe In

Mariah Carey Glitter

A great, gay, glittery miracle has happened.

In mere hours (November 16, to be exact), the Imperfect Angel, the Elusive Chanteuse, the Queen of Festivity, Christmas and QVC herself, Mariah Carey, will return to us with her fifteenth studio album, Caution.

We will all be streaming, downloading and buying Caution. In this house, we support Legends Only™. And if you don’t, well…how ’bout you GTFO?

But Caution isn’t what’s got the Lambily shaking and crying at the moment. At least, not entirely: there’s another album from the “H.A.T.E.U.” chanteuse causing everyone to panic – and it’s a record that’s already well past its 17th anniversary.

That’s right: Glitter‘s finally having its moment, darling.

If you’re of a certain age, you already know the story, and likely have vivid memories of that time in pop culture: Glitter is Mimi’s 2001 critical and commercial disaster of a film, now considered a cult classic. (Mariah won a Razzie for Worst Actress, which is hard to get – not everybody has that.) Like Burlesque, its only crime was being too ahead of its time. And speaking of timing, the accompanying soundtrack’s release date couldn’t have been scheduled worse: September 11, 2001. Awful.

Mariah’s been mocked about both the film and the soundtrack for nearly two decades (as well as her erratic behavior at the time), but now – to quote Britney asking us to choose the name of her forthcoming fifth studio album: What If The Joke Is On You? (Shout out to the #ItsBritneyBitch listeners!)

Mariah Carey Glitter Number One iTunes

Thanks to a persistent push from the fiercely loyal Lambily, through listening parties and trending topics (#JusticeForGlitter) this week, Glitter is now soaring high in the sky – like a meteor-i-i-te, if you will – and enjoying praise and positive press at last. The album is not available on streaming services, which is also why it’s skyrocketing on iTunes. Plus, it’s only $5. And it’s charting in other countries as well!

More importantly, the Glitter soundtrack isn’t just the butt of a joke. It’s a legitimately excellent, retro moment of ’80s gypsy whatever. I mean…”Loverboy” alone. Hello. And “Didn’t Mean to Turn You On”! “Last Night a DJ Saved My Life”! “Never Too Far”! My God: “Lead The Way,” which contains the longest note she’s ever held on a record. Glitter is actually crucial listening, darling.

UPDATE: An official update on the numbers, according to Billboard on Thursday (November 15):

“In the last six days (Nov. 9-14), the album sold 3,000 copies — up from a basically negligible figure in the previous six days (Nov. 3-8)…notably, it appears Glitter will tally its biggest sales week since 2002. While there is still one day left in the current Nielsen tracking week (ending Nov. 15), the album’s 3,000 copies sold so far would garner its largest sales frame since at least February 2002. Further, Glitter will likely re-enter Billboard’s Soundtracks chart dated Nov. 24….with 3,000 in album sales already in the bank for Glitter in the week ending Nov. 15, Glitter is likely to jump back onto the chart somewhere in the top 15. (Glitter spent three weeks at No. 1 on the Soundtracks chart in 2001.)”

At a time when the world might be feeling bleak, this beautiful moment of Mimi appreciation is anything but.

#JusticeForGlitter. #JusticeForMariah. #JusticeForBillieFrank.

Glitter was released on September 11, 2001. (iTunes)