kylie-minogue-into-the-blue

Ee-yo-oh-oh-oh!

The glittery stork has arrived a bit early, but I don’t suspect anyone will mind too much.

Four years after climbing her way atop a human pyramid for “All The Lovers,” the legendary Mizz Kylie Minogue has returned to us in 2014 with “Into The Blue,” her very, very highly anticipated “euphoric return to the dance floor” — and it is exactly that.

VARIOUS REASONS:

EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL. The beat is dreamy and luscious, especially when complimented by those gorgeous strings. You know — it’s just like “Confide In Me”! Also, the way it washes out of the speakers during the pre-chorus LIKE THE TIDES OF THE SEA? Excellent. And that slamming pulse in the chorus! Yassss.

WORD IS OUT. The lyrics are great — all of the lyrics. Interestingly, “Into The Blue” is essentially a self-empowerment anthem — something we haven’t really gotten from Kylie before. “When I got my back up against the wall, don’t need no one to rescue me/’Cause I ain’t waiting up for no miracle, tonight I’m running free!” That’s an amazing message, and it’s not cheesy or embarrassing. She’s nailed it! Kudos to the song’s co-writer Kelly Sheehan (who also wrote Beyoncé‘s “Grown Woman”)! It’s a good move too, because if there’s anyone who I’d be willing to take a few words of advice from, it’s the Mighty Aphrodite herself.

EE-YO-OH-OH-OH. That’s just amazing and should be recognized as such.

THE ONE. The chorus. THAT FUCKING CHORUS. The way she sings “Into the buh-LOOOOOOOO with nothin’ to LOOOOSE” alone deserves at least several Grammys, conservatively speaking. BUH-LOOOOOOOO!

LOOKING FOR AN ANGEL. The word “heavenly” is thrown around way too much by journalists to describe vocals (by me, mostly), but Kylie’s voice on the bridge genuinely sounds like we’ve just crossed over to the other side and Miss Minogue is meeting us at the pearly gates in her hot pants.

IN CONCLUSION…

The thing about “Into The Blue” is that it sounds like a Kylie classic almost immediately upon first listen, sitting itself nicely in between “Love At First Sight,” “All The Lovers” and “I Believe In You.” And yet, it still sounds like a Fresh ‘N Modern Pop Song for 2014, remaining a dance record without pandering to any particular cheap “EDM-pop” trends. Kylie Minogue has always known how to rule the dance floor, and “Into The Blue” is certainly no exception.

Welcome back, Queen Kylie. We’ve never needed you more.

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“Into The Blue” will be released on March 16. (iTunes)