Here’s the thing (
we started out friends…): There’s a mystery snippet on Billboard right now. (Did you know? Everyone’s doing the mystery thing now.)
Due in no small part to the success of a couple of Parisian robots, disco is fully back in vogue these days. With its buoyant analog chords, filtered funk synths, and vocoded hook, this blistering tune by a shape-shifting dance legend takes a few cues from the Daft Punk playlist and is a flawless fit for the times.
Billboard was given an exlcusive listen to this forthcoming track, but we’ve been sworn to secrecy on the exact artist’s identity. But, after a fair amount of begging, we were given exclusive permission to leak this 50-second snippet to the world. For now, the music will have to speak for itself.
Naturally, Madonna stans are now wondering if it’s the long awaited return of MDNA.
Why? Because what other shape-shifting dance legends are there in this world? (Well, aside from Cascada.) There is only one — and that’s Madonna, bitch.
Plus, who else is #hashtagging and #Instagramming in the bathroom every five minutes? A Billboard snippet would fit in #flawlessly with Madonna’s general #unapologeticbitch social media takeover for this go-around.
Also, “back in vogue.” REFERENCE?
M-Dolla gave us funky urban disco back in 2008 with Hard Candy (WHICH CONTINUES TO PROVE ITSELF AHEAD OF ITS TIME IN THIS AGE OF NU-DISCO), but this snippet is a much more Donna Summer-y, early Grace Jones-ish vintage disco sound. Actually, is it Giorgio Moroder?
Or maybe it’s Beyoncé pulling a Beyoncé again.
Or maybe it’s…Janet. (It’s probably not Janet. But if it is Janet, prepare my coffin in advance.)
Or maybe it’s Mariah having a festive moment of gypsy mystery elusive chanteuse whatever.
Or maybe it’s just some basic bitch. WHO KNOWS?
Let’s hope it’s Madonna living to tell…and dance.