DROP THE TURKEY LEG AND SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Madonna, Queen Of Pop, Empress Of Bathroom Selfies and Eternal #UnapologeticBitch, has been taking selfies in the studio with nearly every songwriter, producer and singer of songs in the entire world (when not taking photos of herself) over the past, like, two decades while preparing the highly anticipated follow-up to MDNA.
And now — at long last — a teeny, tiny snippet of real new material from Madonna has arrived.
The song in question is “Rebel Heart” — AKA #rebelheart, as she’s been hashtagging her Instagram photos for months. The track was produced by Avicii, and recorded all the way back around March. And really, it sounds like Avicii meets singer-songwriter American Life-era Madonna, given the guitar pulse and throbbing beats.
But, uh, those lyrics? I mean…
“I spent some time as a narcissist/Hearing the others say ‘Look at you, look at you!’/Trying to be so provocative/I said ‘Oh yeah, that was me’/All the things I did just to be seen…”
“Oh yeah, that was me”…past tense? Oh, Madge. COME ON, MADONNA. We’re all following you on Instagram. What kind of shameless lie?
Still, apart from those cringe lyrics, the production itself sounds top-notch: It’s current, it’s infectious, that “my rebel heart” opening breakdown is fierce…it’s (BOLD STATEMENT ALERT) already fresher sounding than MDNA. Let’s hope this is just an early demo? Or that particular verse was scrapped and found on the digital cutting room floor?
Then again, the way she snarls the word “narcissist” is already kind of slaying my entire life…
Bitch, it’s Madonna…get excited and scared all at once.