“Peter, Paul, and Mary, gettin’ down with 3P.” – Book Of Godney, Psalms of Singles Collection, 3:33

Today, December 2, is the most holy day of the calendar year: The birth of The Holy Spearit. Our one true Lord and Saviorney. The sensual seductress. The enchanting mistress. The pop princess-turned-Queen Of Pop. The Legendary Miss Britney Spears.

33 years ago, B-Girl jumped over drama (in Lynne’s womb) and landed on her feet for the very first time, becoming the American Dream by 17 and remaining a living legend ever since. She is a performer. She is a Mom. She is funny. She is our friend! She is Britney Jean — and it’s her birthday, bitch.

To celebrate this very 3-oriented birthday, let’s remember one of B’s many incredible moments: Her 2009 one-off Max Martin-produced single “3” (clocking in at exactly 3:33), Britney’s most personal, vintage and urban ode to threesomes to date.


Upon its release, “3” debuted at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, the first song in over 3 years (and just the 15th in history!) to do so at the time. The song has since been performed on The Femme Fatale Tour and during her current stint as Vegasney in Piece Of Me, before which we lessers are made to count to 3 with B. (“I want you to help me count to 3! 1…2…3!“)

The accompanying Diane Martel-directed video is one of Brit’s sexiest, most stripped down (and perhaps more underrated?) visuals — a real moment in the emancipation of Adultney. So grab hold of your nearest overhead bar, slide on some sunglasses and swing, swing, swing in celebration of B turning 33 today.


Happy birthday, Britney! Thank you for being your very cool, different and funky self. We love you, always and forever!

Oh, and if any of y’all are in New York City this weekend, I’m DJing a major B-Day celebration for B-Girl on Saturday. You better come, bitch.