Do you know what it’s like to be haunted by pizza?
To have feverish nightmares of being consumed by melted cheese and flaky crusts?
To walk into a room and begin hallucinating that the walls are splattered with tomato sauce and pepperoni slices?
Iggy Azalea sure as fuck does.
I-G-G-Y, arguably the #1 pop artist in the world most likely to benefit from a “Log Out” button on her phone, decided to take to Twitter yesterday — the day of the Grammy Awards — to publicly air her grievances against the damned take-out chain.
Her Twitter spats are nothing new of course, but this would be perhaps the first time the “Work” entertainer directly attacked pizza.
You see, Iggy ordered a pizza the day before using her personal phone number. Why not an assistant’s phone number, or someone from the label or something? Because she’s the rillest — and she gets rill hungry, too.
The #Problem is: The delivery boy figured out that he was delivering the pizza to Iggy Azalea — maybe because she opened the door herself and said something like “Hi, I’m Iggy Azalea.” As a result, the young pizza boy-turned-privacy breacher proceeded to give out her phone number to others.
Much like the Sony hack — except worse, obviously — Iggy’s information had been leaked to the public. And so, she proceeded to chew up (no pun intended) @PapaJohn’s on The Twitter, mere hours before The Grammys were set to begin.
. @PapaJohns was my favorite pizza but the drivers they use give out your personal phone number to their family members.
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) February 8, 2015
And the supervisors at @PapaJohns refuse to send pictures of their employess so you can identify who it is that steals your information
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) February 8, 2015
You know, to protect their privacy… Too bad they don't value the privacy of their customers also. #DamnShame
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) February 8, 2015
@PapaJohns I ordered a cheese pizza but instead I got tons of calls and messages like this one. pic.twitter.com/fgKhydivXb
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) February 8, 2015
@PapaJohns and this is all your supervisor has to say about it #ProfessionalAsFuck pic.twitter.com/kyQMWQADSq
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) February 8, 2015
“Yeah, it’s an honor to be here or whatever. But have you ever ordered from Papa John’s, Ryan?”
A mere hour after the ceremony, the Aussie femcee returned to her personal (breached) phone.
And what was her first order of business post-Grammys? Perhaps a congratulatory tweet to friends for their wins? Or a thank you to fans for supporting her all the way to the Grammys?
No. It was right back to the fucking pizza.
@PapaJohns I don't think data breach is funny. I expect you to contact me to explain how you are going to rectify your breach
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) February 9, 2015
@PapaJohns of my personal information in a satisfactory and professional way or lawsuit will be filed.
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) February 9, 2015
@DiGiornoPizza I know right!
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) February 9, 2015
CURSE YOU, @PAPAJOHNS.
A PLIGHT UPON THEE AND THY CHEESY OFFERINGS.