Britney Mermaid Foot Fetish

Britney Spears Is Now A Profoundly Single Mermaid With A Foot Fetish

The mermaid life 🐠

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


ALL AROUND THE SEA, PRETTY MERMAIDS. WIPE THE SHORE WITH ALL THE CLAMS. WHIP THE TAIL, BRING THE KRILL…WE’RE JUST SO FISHY!

Ever since The Legendary Miss Britney Spears became Rainbowney, everything is magical. The fire in the eyes! The flipping of the hair!

And now that lady friend has latched onto this very #ontrend mermaid lewk, it was only too inevitable that Brit Brit would eventually take it one step further…and literally transform into Mermaidney, Queen Of The Cool and UrbanĀ Seas.

“The mermaid life 🐠” BĀ casually Instagrammed last week while cooling off in the water with her babies. And you can flip around in the sea like B too with these Mermaid Tails!

The photo was presumably taken just after rehearsing the newly revamped aquatic version of Piece Of Me, in which the pit sections have been convertedĀ into pools, the VIP area is now the splash zone and the entire show isĀ performed as Mermaidney. You betta swim, bitch!

Oh, right ā€” and Offscriptney has made a comeback, too.

Like Christmas in mid-March or aĀ fuckin’ asshole, there’s nothing better than an unanticipated Spearitual moment live in concert.

And during last night’s show, B-Girl decided to spontaneously bless the crowd with some banter before selecting her “Freakshow” slave for the evening ā€”Ā a girl, that is, because LGBTQ warrior.

“So, being single for a year has been very, very, very profound…and I feel like all men should suck my toe.”

What? Also: WHAT?

Single for a year? Okay, girl.

B’s only just begun (having her foot fun): Start saving your coins now to indulge in the upcoming Intimate Britney Spears silk silhouettes and promises stocking and tights collection in late 2016, as well as the new fragrance Toe Fantasy, available at your local Walmart next month.

Queen of the Seas. Queen of Single. Queen of Feet.

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