There’s Just One “Kylie,” Thank You Very Much

There are many Kylies in the world, but there’s just one KYLIE.

Recently, it has come to my attention that a certain newly turned 18-year-old member of the Kardashian Krew has risen to prominence in pop culture.

I only know this because I am a Respected and Influential Member of The Media, but perhaps you’ve noticed this too because, I don’t know, you have eyes.

Her name is Kylie Jenner.

Kylie Jenner! That’s her name. (Call her Kylie!)

But, in a practice that both social media and the press have perpetuated over the past year or two, Kylie Jenner is increasingly becoming known as something else: “Kylie.”

Just “Kylie.”

Of course, that’s still her name. Unfortunately, there’s a slight issue with that: There’s only one Kylie — just Kylie — in pop culture, and she’s a glittering, glamorous Australian pop music legend who has been in this industry for over 25 years and counting.

To her name, Kylie [Minogue] has amassed a dozen studio albums, headlined more than a dozen world tours and scored several Top 10 hits across the world, including “The Loco-Motion,” “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head,” “Love At First Sight,” “All the Lovers” and “I Believe in You.” She’s won a GRAMMY Award, 3 BRIT Awards and 16 ARIA Music Awards. She is also the 3rd best-selling female artist in UK history.

To her name, Kylie [Jenner] has an official lifestyle app, the great fortune of being born into a spectacularly famous family, and the general public’s interest in the authenticity of her body parts and her relationship with a 25-year-old rapper. She also has 35.8 million followers on Instagram.

Of course, I get it: The world keeps spinning, and we keep spinning with it. Times change. I’m very, very old and irrelevant now.

But please, can’t we as a people have even a morsel of respect for the genuinely prolific career which Kylie [Minogue] has built for herself before casting her one-name recognition away to a (perfectly nice-seeming) master selfie-taking teenager? Can we not demand a little more from our one Kylie, Just Kylie? (Teens: No, ugly! Delete it fat!)

I’m open to the game being changed: If Kylie Jenner would like to step into the recording booth to become a pop star — which, if Kim Kardashian‘s “Jam (Turn It Up)” is any indication of her talent, she certainly should — in order to claim the Kylie Krown, then please, by all means, let her. But until then…

Earn the first Google Image search results. Earn the headlines. Earn the KYLIE.

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