One day in 2012, a woman preparing to entertain the entire world with a Super Bowl halftime show performance sipped a cup of tea and uttered a single word: “Reductive.“
It was the shade to end all shades, echoing throughout forums and blogs for years to come.
But ever since Madonna‘s one single, direct criticism of Lady Gaga‘s 2011 self-empowerment anthem “Born This Way,” which she found too similar to her own 1989 self-empowerment anthem, “Express Yourself” (well, and her shady mash-up of the two songs on the MDNA Tour), it’s the media that has perpetuated a war between the two, exhausting the comparisons until it became very boring…and, well, reductive.
Now, as Madge begins the rounds of promo for her twice leaked Rebel Heart, she is (unsurprisingly) being asked about the Gaga situation yet again.
Only this time around, she’s not taking the bait.
From her upcoming cover story in Rolling Stone:
Some people are very invested in the title of ‘Who’s the Queen of Pop’ Is that a crown you’re interested in?
Well, I do think of myself as a queen, but I don’t think I’m the only queen. There’s room for other queens. We reign over different kingdoms.
Lady Gaga told Howard Stern that there’s a perception out there that she was going for your crown. “I don’t want her ****ing throne,” she said.
I don’t think she wants my crown either. We live in a world where people like to pit women against each other. And this is why I love the idea of embracing other females who are doing what I’m doing. It’s important for us to support each other. The only time I ever criticized Lady Gaga was when I felt like she blatantly ripped off one of my songs. It’s got nothing to do with “she’s taking my crown” or “she’s in some space of mine.” She has her thing. I do think she is a very talented singer songwriter. It was just that one issue. And everybody’s obviously run with it and turned it into a huge feud, which I think is really boring, quite frankly. And you know what? I don’t care anymore. Here’s the thing: One day, everyone’s going to just shut up about it. You’ll see! I have a plan.
(For the record: I don’t know what plan Madge has, but I imagine it’s to get naked.)
Let’s face it: Pop diva battles can be truly incredible and “reductive” will forever be #iconic, but the Madonna-Gaga war has run dry.
It’s done now. They couldn’t be any more different as artists — especially now: Madonna is a #trendy, #unapologetic bullfighting pop granny looking for NSA fun on Grindr and Snapchat, and Lady Gaga is that jazz lady with big hair that haunts Tony Bennett‘s dreams at night and moonlights as a showtunes-singing dishwasher.
It is high time for the remaining Twitter goblins and forum trolls in the Little Monster and Little Medonster camps to stop competing over which artist is more irrelevant. (Spoiler alert: They’re both less relevant than Taylor Swift at the moment!)
It’s 2015, and you’re both being assholes quite frankly: EMBRACE THEM BOTH FOR THEIR INDIVIDUAL INSANITY. IT’S MORE FUN THAT WAY.
Stan wars in 2015 are embarrassing as fuck, anyway. Why are you fighting over ya fave’s sales numbers and charts? It’s not like you’re getting any of that money, power or glory. (Thanks, Lana.) They don’t even know who the hell you are! Just enjoy the music and live your life. DAMN.
As the great Ts Madison once said: Be ya self, bitch. Step your pussy up, honey. Get a job. Own a business. Suck a dick.
And if you don’t like it, you can kiss my #RebelCheek.