GRAB YOUR VEGGIES: IT’S ABOUT TO GET RILL SEXY.
17-year-old iconic vegetarian songstress/child bride Courtney Stodden‘s game-changing new single “Reality,” which just premiered on Fox News because she is a God Warrior, is literally the greatest thing I’ve ever heard in the past 15 minutes.
On the Scale of Socialite Singles–from Sheree Whitfield to Kim Kardashian to Paris Hilton–the Queen of Twitter’s latest cut is at the very least a Melissa Gorga–and perhaps even a Heidi Montag. It’s rilly, rilly good!
“B-b-baby if you want to, we can take it all the way,” Stodden sensuously suggests on the song’s spicy chorus. Stodden’s vocals are deliciously dulcet, demanding us directly onto the dance floor to deliver some dirty delights. Storming synthesizers, dubstep breakdowns, and all that sexual stuttering sending us straight into outer space? Talk about sending shivers down my sexy spine!
While “Don’t Put It On Me” suggested that the Jesus of PETA was leaning toward a sassy, more rockier edge for her burgeoning music career, “Reality” makes it clear that Stodden is on the fast track toward becoming a full-on dance floor diva. Let’s just hope it doesn’t make her foot hurt!
In related news, Legendtina is mad, Katy Perry is already strapping on a pair of cream-filled lucite platform heels, and Adele just announced her retirement effective immediately.
Now strap on your tightest white bikini and let’s get SEXY! Meow! ;-)
(In all seriousness, this is a pretty good song! Rilly!)
“Reality” was released on May 1. (iTunes)
