On Trains.

A heap load of apologies is owed to the millions of my dearest, darling readers for the severe lack of updates lately. You see, I was due to arrive back home last night around 9 P.M., but my train’s engine decided to go a bit menstrual, unfortunately causing what the conductor referred to as “a slight delay,” which was then followed by a “slight” power outage. Three hours later, I seriously began to question the definition of “slight.” I also wondered who’s hand was on my ass.

Luckily, I made a wonderful friend named Rue during Hour 2, with whom I mainly discussed the efficiency of train transportation, the inferiority of Project Runway Season 3 to Season 4, and the possible victims of sacrifice for our steadily increasing hunger. When all was said and done, we ended up rolling into town around two in the morning. Needless to say, I’m tired.

But enough about me. It’s on to the music, which is what you’re all here for. I guess I’ll start with the trainwreck of the night, because that seems to be rather fitting, don’t you think? It’s an easy one…you guessed it. A Janet Jackson video. This time it’s for my favorite track off of the new album, “Rock With U” (I’ve always found the “U” instead of “you” to be rather edgy and exciting). There’s not much to be said that couldn’t be better expressed than an arch of the eyebrow and a slow head turn to the side.

Janet’s people clearly made themselves welcome inside of the wooden-panel set on Britney and Madonna’s “Me Against The Music” video. Some vintage club kids make an appearance here too during the dance numbers, but all I kept thinking was that someone was going to lose an eye from all the fierce pop-and-locking going on.

I mean, this isn’t even a trainwreck video, honestly. Paula Janet looks nice and young here. The choreography is pretty on target too, with a very consistent usage of orgy-fied “I’m A Slave 4 U” moments. I guess I don’t actually take issue with anything about the video…I’m still utterly fascinated by her facial structure lately.

Have a looksee right here:

Very, Very Soon

Very, Very Soon

Imogen Heap is one of my favorite artists, hands down, but I’m not going

Woman On A Mission

Woman On A Mission

Three new screen caps have leaked from the set of Madonna’s upcoming

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