Welcome to the 22nd Century: A Night with Kelis at the Flesh Tone Album Launch Party at RDV

Last night, I had the absolute pleasure and privilege of being invited to Kelis‘ album launch party for Flesh Tone, hosted at RDV in the Meatpacking District in NYC.

By the time I arrived around 11:30, the bar was all but packed to the limit. It was overwhelming at first, given that the room was filled with an excitable energy and a host of unfamiliar faces–from business-looking types dressed in sleek suits to aspiring fashionistas with feathers glued to their faces to hipster gays with fashionably short shorts to a few drag queens (I think?) to awkward professional bloggers and their attractive boy-toy entourages.

However, it wasn’t too hard to get acclimated. RDV is gorgeous and glamorous inside (and out, really) complete with comfy couches, dark mahogany trim, and dozens of candles and chandeliers that provide for sexy mood lighting. Then again, I’m a sucker for any place that incorporates a color scheme of purple and black. Or couldn’t you already tell?

The lights are shining…I’m already home!

After a bit of light schmoozing, I made my way to the bar (shocking), did a bit of dancing here and there (i.e. broke it the fuck down), and was told that it was time to meet Kelis. Solid.

No more than ten minutes after arrival, my friends and I were being whisked over toward the back of the room, where Kelis was sitting and laughing along with a big circle of ridiculously trendy, ridiculously attractive people. She looked almost exactly as she appeared in the glorious performance of “4th of July (Fireworks)” on The Today Show: Red hair, flashy jewelery, bright eye make-up, and an even brighter, colorful ensemble. And, as I’ve come to notice as the trend with my favorite singers, she was ten times more gorgeous in person.

And so I was introduced to Kelis who, upon being told who I was, immediately thanked me for my review. According to her PR manager, my Flesh Tone review was one of the first to be bouncing about the net, and Camp Kelis loved it up. Cue me getting all giggly and awkward from this point forth.

Anyway, after shaking her hand and telling her how much I love the album (well, duh), I decided to go in directly for the kill: I plopped down right next to her and said “Okay, so I have a request. Can you please make ‘Brave’ the next single?”

She smiled and agreed that it was one of her favorites from the album (“it’s an incredibly personal record for me”) and that she was actually just listening to the song and thinking the same thing. With any luck, my brave-heartedness (made it up, deal with it) and seductive glances sealed the deal within her, and “Brave” shall soon receive the treatment it so deeply deserves. Here’s hoping.

This woman just kept begging and begging me to take a photo with her, so I finally allowed for it.

Then we talked for a bit about how tough it is to get radio play these days (“Radio sucks,” I concluded intelligently–I swear to God I’m better in written format), and then she told me how pleased she was that the album was being received so well in certain circles.

“That’s because the important people ‘get’ it,” I announced before we took a quick snapshot together. “That’s exactly right!” she smiled back.

It is also worth noting at this time that Kelis is the only human being on Earth who has a septum piercing that I find to be both (A) attractive and (B) quite flattering. I kind of kept looking at it while we spoke. Full disclosure. Did I mention she’s gorgeous in person?

After a few more photos, my ‘crew’ and I returned to the bar (shocking), where we danced to the beats at hand–mostly Euro-tinged club tracks, some Missy Elliot, and then a Flesh Tone track sprinkled in between the set roughly every twenty minutes.

I was all about this man’s outfit. Also, I wish I could put my face in that cake.

Later on in the night, the doors of the backroom flung open as Kelis was presented with a massive cake to celebrate the album’s release, complete with dozens of sparklers and flowing champagne being brought out time and time again. It was quite a fete (and possibly a minor fire code violation). No matter!

And so, that was that. My body is now lightly vibrating and I keep giggling and spacing out. Either that’s two hours of sleep and a Tequila Sunrise not agreeing with me, or I’m experiencing the true meaning of Flesh Tone at this very moment. I’d like to believe it’s the latter.

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