If I said that Christian TV’s greatest accomplishment to date was being mentioned in one of Britney’s tweets, would you hold it against me?
To be fair, Christian TV’s first single, “When She Turns 18,†did create a minor splash upon its release. After all, it was easily the catchiest jailbait-celebrating pop song since Jesse McCartney’s 2006 hit single (note: neither a hit nor a single) “Daddy’s Little Girl.†But CTV’s song mostly generated buzz due to the sleazy chi-mo bent of its lyrics, and the hype quickly dissipated. To these ears, the song, though pleasant enough, failed to resonate due to its lack of a memorable chorus — I’ve listened to it many times and still couldn’t hum the hook for you. CTV’s fame reached its spectacular zenith in June 2010, when the Holy Spearit memorably tweeted the following sentence (which had nothing, I repeat, nothing to do with pressure from her label/management/PR, and was only the consequence of the Queen B’s endlessly benevolent spirit):
Sitting with Jason. He just played me my favorite new song of the summer “When She Turns 18″by @christiantv http://mysp.ac/doO9Km – Brit
Even with Brit’s support, though, “When She Turns 18†flopped on the charts. Fortunately, I don’t think CTV is going to need anyone’s help to turn “Love2Baby†into a certified smash. The track is bombastic, deliciously derivative, and every bit as filthy as “When She Turns 18,†without the distasteful statutory rape undertones. Lyrically, the song appropriates every poppin’-bottles-in-the-club party cliche in the book, while sonically, it’s the bastard lovechild of “Dynamite†and “Yeah 3X,†managing to feel utterly familiar but not altogether stale. Basically, it sounds like the product of months of exhaustive market research and consumer testing with the singular goal of creating the perfect club anthem. And to think, without Britney’s help, it would never have been possible. Yet another victory for the Holy Spearit.
“Love2Baby” will be released later this year. (iTunes)
