I’ll be honest: I’ve never been able to hop aboard the 1D train.
While I’ve always been proud of the boys for their explosion onto the global pop market following their run on the star-packed seventh season of X Factor UK, I’ve just never really bought into the whole ‘thing.’ The music’s catchy, the boys are pretty, but…it’s all too squeaky-clean J-14 for me! It makes me uncomfortable to feign any sort of fanaticism for barely pubescent boys making decent(-ish) pop music. As far as quality, I’ve always preferred the music catalog of my good ol’, slightly more gruff UK lads, The Wanted. (I eagerly await your death threats, Directioners.)
But it’s impossible to avoid a One Direction-sized blip on the pop culture radar, so here we are with the feverishly anticipated video for “Kiss You,” one of the punchiest cuts from their all-around alright (and slightly sexier) 2012 follow-up, Take Me Home.
The clip follows the boys as they–well, fuck it, this isn’t rocket science: It’s a massively camp affair on a make-believe movie set, featuring a jail scene, a shirtless surfing scene and, more puzzlingly, a skiing scene in which the boys are suited up from head to toe. (I don’t see any exposed skin during that bit. Who thought that was a good idea?!)
As Billboard‘s Keith Caulfield astutely noted on Twitter this afternoon, videos are rapidly becoming more Tumblr/GIF-ready than ever, and “Kiss You” is just further evidence of that fact; a mile-a-minute cheeky production of homoerotic camp that can be compressed into 3-5 second ‘moments.’ (Note: That’s not necessarily a bad thing, just an observation.)
So prepare for boyish banter, playful shenanigans and not-at-all fangirl/gay-baiting boy-on-boy fun, including (but not limited to) a Harry-Zayn nipple squeeze at the very beginning and a Harry-Zayn cheek smooch at the very end.
It’s all a bunch of frivolousness and shirtless revelry, so who am I to get crotchety about it? I shouldn’t, but then, I just can’t seem to make it through the whole video without thinking: “God, I’m too old for this.”
LARRY!!! I SHIP IT!!! #1DComeToBrazil!!! Etc. etc. etc.
Take Me Home was released on November 9. (iTunes)