SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP BECAUSE LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE MATTERS RIGHT NOW.
As I was walking to to my first ever professional massage (it was lovely, by the way), I received a panicked BBM from faithful Muuser Miles D. telling me that the “Hold It Against Me” demo had indeed leaked. Like…the real one.
With no other choice and nowhere to go, I quickly dove behind the nearest shrubbery on Newbury Street in Boston and listened to the heaven-sent gospel via the shoddy speakers of my Blackberry. And yes, my eyes did fill with a thousand tears and my body trembled for the demo was, in fact, real.
THE SACRED HYMN IS NEARLY UPON US.
As Miles ever-so-accurately described it, “Hold It Against Me” is the perfect love child between Ke$ha‘s “Take It Off” and the melody of Britney’s “Shattered Glass.” The chorus is SUBLIME and the beat is serious business–one that’s going to blow the fucking roof off of every club across the planet.
According to those ‘in the know,’ the demo is actually a very early production version of the track. And while it certainly sounds Ke$ha-fied at the moment, I’ve no doubt that Britney’s final take will be loaded up with all the iconic Godney purrs, MJ-like coos, and at least one or two “oh baby,” “yeah baby” or “mmm baby” moments that we’ve come to expect from The Holy Spearit.
And now, a concern:
There seems to be a huge mishmash of half-truths and misinformation floating around about the single’s release at the moment. (For the record, Jive has not responded since first messaging me about the Facebook campaign.) More alleged versions of the demo are now floating around with the web with added beats, and nearly everyone has a different idea and/or “source” telling them when the song will actually be released.
Something needs to happen NOW to avoid making the campaign more sloppy than it already is.
In other words: Adam? Larry? RELEASE THE FUCKING SONG ALREADY.
And the crowd is waiting…
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to play this demo fifty billion more times. I can’t wipe the goofy grin of delight off my face.
PS: Thank you for all the kind birthday wishes by the way yesterday! It was an absolutely amazing day. And yes, I know that secretly this was Britney’s slightly belated gift to me ahead of the single release.
