I…AM…CANNIBAL WARRIOR.
Over the past few days, Gutter-Pop Princess and “Party At A Rich Dude’s House” chanteuse Ke$ha has finally fished her iPhone out of the toilet and began Instagramming clues (and/or clear signs of her true identity as an Illuminati high priestess) about her upcoming album’s title–and today, she spilled all the glittery beans.
It’s official: Ke$ha’s new record will be called Warrior, dropping on December 4.
And above? That legendary hot mess is really the deluxe album cover, which was clearly created by the boozy beauty herself during a drunken blackout rage last Saturday in the back office of an Applebee’s in Wisconsin.
The stinky-yet-brilliant design features our flaw-free Lady of Vomit dressed to the nines in a majestic 3D tribalwear, standing in some sort of over-saturated desert land where only Photoshop lens flare and default brush patterns exist. This is likely where she’ll be having a showdown with the almighty Legendtina, who has been seen terrorizing locals in a studded diaper.
According to an Excluusive call to MuuMuse headquarters from “Till The World Ends” BFF Godney, the album cover is “flawless,” “magnificento,” and “constructive criticism.” When asked if she was planning on collaborating with Queen Ke$hus on another record, Godney paused for a moment and replied: “Not yet.”
Insiders tell MuuMuse that songstress Adele is already preparing to announce her retirement in the coming weeks.
(Oh, and that new logo is legitimately sick, by the way!)
You ready to “Die Young” on September 25? Good. I’ll C U Next Tuesday!
PRAISE KE$HUS.