Yes, Legendtina brought the entire audience to their knees at last night’s Billboard Music Awards with her stunning, playback-heavy rendition of “Feel This Moment” with Pitbull. But the true performer of the night — and one of the more underrated pop princesses of our time — was the endlessly fabulous Miss Jennifer Lopez.
After wrapping things up with Legendtina, Pitbull made his way back onstage to partner up with La Lopez and perform their latest in a seemingly endless string of YOLO anthems: “Live It Up.”
Here’s how it went down.
After the Latin bulge rattles through his opening verse (They’re all basically the same thing, right? “Mr. Worldwide! Dale!“), Jennifer appears on the main stage in between bursts of smoke and flashing lights galore, striking a fierce pose and looking hot in her sexy thigh-high red leather boots and a glittery leotard.
This is called a grand fucking entrance.
From the get-go, she nails the choreography with ease: She’s scaling metal scaffolding! She’s twirling down poles! She’s serving hair flips! And it just keeps coming: There’s, like, forty seven dance breaks! This is Britney In The Zone-era level good.
Also, those bottle poppin’ hip twerks? And that legendary crotch thrust at the end?! J. Lo always knows how to show us her LOVE? (Also, kudos for not nearly decapitating anyone while doing so.)
This is called putting in some fucking work.
It doesn’t even matter that “#LiveItUp” (or whatever it’s even called) is just another terrible theme song for every horrible, alcohol-fueled mistake made during Spring Break in Miami: She still managed to slay the entire stage.
This is called having fucking stage presence.
So, just to clarify for the basic bitches: A 43-year-old mother of 2 just wiped the floor with every teeny-bopper pop princess in the building.
This is how you put on a fucking show.
Really though, J. Lo has never faltered as a pop star — from “Waiting For Tonight” up until now: Remember her ridiculously amazing debut of “On The Floor” for American Idol? Or her solid performance of “Dance Again,” again on American Idol? She’s been doin’ it, doin’ it well since forever.
And now, I’ll allow Miley‘s flawlessly executed, fucks-free response to Justin Bieber‘s win to provide the side-eye I’m giving every other performer last night.
ALL HAIL QUEEN LOPEZ.