Like The Holy Spearit‘s endless array of Meet & Greet wigs, you never know what you’re going to get next in the World Of The Legendary Miss Britney Spears.

Today, we’ve been #blessed with a Britmas surprise: A full leak of “Welcome To Me,” one of the songs recorded somewhere in between the scrapped Original Doll sessions and the release of 2007’s Holy Scripture, Blackout.

Years ago, a snippet of the song — then rumored to be titled “Love” — surfaced for the first time online…but it’s here now (REFERENCE).

According to the song’s BMI listing, the track was co-penned by longtime choreographer/”What It’s Like To Be Me” co-writer Wade Robson, as well as legendary songwriter Carole Bayer Sager, who wrote “That’s What Friends Are For,” among other classics.

The sex-drenched jam is much more slinky and smooth than the dark ‘n pulsating dance-pop contents of Blackout, as Brit Brit takes our hand and guides us to…a special place: “Close your eyes, visualize me,” she moans.

And unless she’s just having another Nostradamusney moment and talking about her future Piece Of Me residency in Vegas (or the local Starbucks), something tells me Britney’s talkin’ ’bout a place she knows only by the touch of her hand: “Got a private spot…that’s not all I got for you tonight.” MISS. BRITNEY. JEAN.

For those familiar with Godney’s back catalog, this one feels like the slutty sister to Brit Brit’s iconic ode to anal, “Over To You Now”: “There are places that I know/No one else can ever go…but you and me. Welcome to me,” the Sensual Seductress purrs. This special place…is it…also in the basement, Brit Brit?

And that Janet-like, “Slave 4 U”-esque heavy breather of a bridge? HA-HA-uhhhh… Call me when your faves could hyperventilate this well from riding the D.

While “Welcome To Me” would definitely sound a little too out of place on Blackout, it certainly feels right at home next to the mysterious, vibe-y sounds of what would have been Original Doll — think “Rebellion,” “Ouch” and “Mona Lisa.”

Let us give thanks for this cool, urban and #SomethingMoreSexy selection from our Beloved B that’ll assume the position on all future baby makin’ playlists.

C’MON, BE A MAN, TAKE CONTROL OF IT.

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