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“Two Steps Behind Me,” Madonna’s Alleged Lady Gaga Shade Song, Surfaces

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Grab some paper towels, because Madonna is still leaking. Heavily.

After over a dozen demos spilled out onto the Internet from her forthcoming record Rebel Heart during the week before Christmas, Lady M dropped the selfie stick and scrambled into the studio to master 6 songs from her upcoming album, throw them all on iTunes and begin some serious promo. (And by that, I mean mostly just stealing fan art on Instagram and posting it on her own page.)

But even that gesture of giving from the Queen Of Pop was not enough for whichever rude stan keeps dropping demos from the sky.

At this point, there are now roughly 30+ demos in all from the Rebel Heart sessions floating around the web, from the Natalia Kills-penned “Holy Water” to the unbelievably promising, self-reference heavy “Veni Vidi Vici” to the exotic, Erotica-lite “Best Night.” So, so many. I’m not encouraging you to seek them out, but let’s not beat around the burning bush: They’re out there.

And today, yet another demo has surfaced called “Two Steps Behind Me,” which happens to be one of the most buzzed-about tracks from the sessions ever since Daily Mail first reported some of the song’s reported (and, as it turns out, real!) lyrics back in August. Why? Because this song is allegedly about Lady Gaga. And while I wasn’t going to write about any of the leaked demos, this one requires your immediate attention.

Backed by a heavy piano melody and a stomping beat, Madge goes in for the kill from the very first line: “You’re a copycat, get back/I’m always on your mind/Take a photograph like that, always ahead of my time,” she bitchily sing-songs, taking swipe after swipe at her unnamed prey, “Thief Of Hearts” style.

Where is my royalty? You’re a pretty girl, I’ll give you that…stealing my recipe!

Granted, this song could be about any younger and hungrier girl coming down the stairs after Lady M, but the icon is known for going after for Gags, including the shady mash-up performance of “Express Yourself,” “Born This Way” and “She’s Not Me” on the MDNA Tour in 2012.

Never gonna be me! Just a wannabe me!

Is it petty? Childish? Reductive? Yes. All of those things, especially considering that Gaga’s gone from being The Biggest Pop Star In The World to the weird lady with big hair that keeps haunting Mr. Tony Bennett‘s dreams at night. It’s so tired! And yet, it would only too Madonna to stay deliciously bitter and pressed.

Regardless, the song’s an undeniably catchy tune — in demo form, anyway.

Some final questions for consideration:

Do you think “Two Steps About Me” is really about Lady Gaga, or some other woman trying to steal her kale chips?

Do you think it should make the cut on Rebel Heart?

Why is everyone copying Madonna’s recipes, and will her recipe book be leaking soon as well?

Can Oprah fix this?

And finally, will “So Legit” siren Lana Del Rey be hopping on a remix?

Meanwhile…

Careful witch, I'll put a spell on you. Or maybe I already did.

A photo posted by @ladygaga on

UPDATE: And for what it’s worth…

Whatever you say, Guy.