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Papa John’s Pizza Ruined Iggy Azalea’s Whole Entire Life

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Do you know what it’s like to be haunted by pizza?

To have feverish nightmares of being consumed by melted cheese and flaky crusts?

To walk into a room and begin hallucinating that the walls are splattered with tomato sauce and pepperoni slices?

Iggy Azalea sure as fuck does.

I-G-G-Y, arguably the #1 pop artist in the world most likely to benefit from a “Log Out” button on her phone, decided to take to Twitter yesterday — the day of the Grammy Awards — to publicly air her grievances against the damned take-out chain.

Her Twitter spats are nothing new of course, but this would be perhaps the first time the “Work” entertainer directly attacked pizza.

You see, Iggy ordered a pizza the day before using her personal phone number. Why not an assistant’s phone number, or someone from the label or something? Because she’s the rillest — and she gets rill hungry, too.

The #Problem is: The delivery boy figured out that he was delivering the pizza to Iggy Azalea — maybe because she opened the door herself and said something like “Hi, I’m Iggy Azalea.” As a result, the young pizza boy-turned-privacy breacher proceeded to give out her phone number to others.

Much like the Sony hack — except worse, obviously — Iggy’s information had been leaked to the public. And so, she proceeded to chew up (no pun intended) @PapaJohn’s on The Twitter, mere hours before The Grammys were set to begin.

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“Yeah, it’s an honor to be here or whatever. But have you ever ordered from Papa John’s, Ryan?”

A mere hour after the ceremony, the Aussie femcee returned to her personal (breached) phone.

And what was her first order of business post-Grammys? Perhaps a congratulatory tweet to friends for their wins? Or a thank you to fans for supporting her all the way to the Grammys?

No. It was right back to the fucking pizza.

CURSE YOU, @PAPAJOHNS.

A PLIGHT UPON THEE AND THY CHEESY OFFERINGS.