The global outcry for fair and adequate representation of The Legendary Miss Britney Spears within the gaming world has been heard loud and clear…as it very well should be.
While the grassroots fan initiative to vote Britney’s Dance Beat Britney into the upcoming installment on Nintendo’s Super Smash Bros. rages on in the trenches of fan forums, mobile gaming juggernaut Glu Mobile — the one responsible for Kim Kardashian: Hollywood — has just announced that they’ve signed a 5-year deal with none other than the Living Legend herself.
From the AP:
Britney Spears is joining Kim Kardashian and Katy Perry on Glu Mobile’s roster of celebrity mobile games, the company said on Wednesday. Glu says it signed a 5-year deal with Spears with the possibility of a 3-year extension. The game will feature Spears’s likeness, voice and “creative influence” and will be launched in the first half of 2016.
Obviously, this will be the most important and personal Britney Spears video game to date. But what will it be about this time? Surely not an update to Britney’s Dance Beat — although we could use one of those, too.
Here are some potential ideas. Listen up, Team B!
Vegasney Quest
Help! Britney has been busy performing every night in Las Vegas at Piece Of Me since 2013, and she’s trying desperately to add some new songs to her as-of-yet unchanged set list. Collect star points, Starbucks cups and positive journalist reviews to convince Larry to add new songs like “Born To Make You Happy,” “And Then We Kiss,” “My Prerogative,” “Hold It Against Me,” “Tom’s Diner” and “Pretty Girls” to the already successful show before B gets too bored!
Album 9: Not My Full Priority
Britney is busy minding her own business with an ongoing Vegas residency, while also running a perfume empire and a lingerie line, going to soccer games and just doin’, y’know, regular mom stuff. But her thirsty fans just want more (moah!) Fend off the stans by throwing vaguely promising tweets and magazine covers in their direction to distract them as you stay content, peaceful and unbothered on your journey through life.
Wait And See
Britney’s got something new coming! How long can you wait and see what it is? Hint: Keep waiting!
Pretty Girls: The Experience
From LA to Australia, there are pretty girls everywhere! Hop in Britney’s ride with her new Australian friend Iggy Azalea to navigate the streets filled with scary, zombie-like basic bitches in a quest to find fellow pretty girls. But be careful! Iggy might give away your location by tweeting too much, so you’ll need to distract her from using her phone.
Britney’s Diner
Yum yum, y’all! Join Britney and her Piece Of Me dancers as as they head to the legendary Tom’s Diner for a post-show treat. Pour as much milk into the coffee as you can before time runs out. Watch out for the woman shaking her umbrella, and be sure to block annoying calls from Giorgio Moroder asking if you’ve recorded that silly bridge yet!
Are you ready for Mobile Gameney?