There are very few guarantees in this cruel world, but there is one thing that I do know with no uncertainty whatsoever: The Holy Spearit is always with us.

Two weekends ago, I was driving up — err, graciously being driven up to New Hampshire for my friend’s wedding by my dear friends Chris (#BuyFaithiest) and Alex (#BuyStrangeWays). And in order to pass the time, the two decided to introduce me to new podcast called Mystery Show, a fairly straightforward series hosted by Starlee Kine about, well, solving mysteries.

Each episode presents a different case for Starlee to crack, and the one that we tuned into just happened to be about…Britney, bitch.

DESTINY.

Without giving too much away, the premise — and this is a true story, by the way! — is this: An author named Andrea Seigel published a metaphysical fiction in 2006 called To Feel Stuff. It didn’t sell. At all. There were hardly any reviews, and the book never found its way to the front of any bookshops. But one day, she was scrolling through her Google Alerts when she came across a photo of our beloved Brit Brit walking out of a restaurant in 2008 with a book in hand. Her book.

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We all know the Living Legend does work in mysterious ways, so it’s almost no surprise that she would pop out of a restaurant with a very cool and interesting book no one’s heard of before. Who knows? Maybe she was researching her good, mysterious book she’s going to write one day.

And so, Starlee gets to work (bitch) on finding out how Bookney got her hands on this artsy fartsy, left-lane read.

I’m not going to dive into the specifics of how this case is solved (and it is!), but it’s an incredibly entertaining and charming listen, from their hypotheses about B’s personal life to Piece Of Me to the nearly impenetrable fortress built around a celebrity — especially Britney. (Also, Andrea is clearly a stan. She already knew Felicia’s name!)

One never really knows how or when Godney will bless us next. All we can do is believe.

You can stream the podcast above, or listen to it for free via iTunes.

And remember, children…

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