HOT NEW 2015 TREND ALERT: Not dealing with your bullshit.
Assertiveness is the name of the game in 2015. And while self-empowerment is certainly not a new theme in pop (#BuyBornThisWayOnAmazonMP3), our favorite pop princesses (and reality stars — FORESHADOWING) are all making strong statements as individual Queens lately…and they’re using fashion as the method of communication.
Whether telling us to shut the phuck up with a chic dress, having us eternally wait and see like bees to the hon-ay via homemade arts-and-crafts couture or making their grand, glam debut in public, these ladies are busy being bosses, doing what they want on their own time — and that deserves a big ol’ YAAAAS.
Editor’s Note: I may or may not be having a bit of a moment of drag-speak whatever because of the RuPaul’s Drag Race finale airing tonight. So sorry, and hieeeeeeee.
Last evening, Oxygenated Illuminati Navy Commander and R8 Denier Robyn “Rihanna” Fenty wore a phucking bomb-ass dress to the birthday ball of renowned voguer, Jack Mizrahi, who is the one serving tens, tens, tens across the board alongside Jennifer Lopez on that fiercembarrassing A.K.A. bop, “Tens.”
The chic middle finger of a garment, crafted by Discount Universe, rih-reads “YOU WILL NEVER OWN ME” in the front and “WILL NEVER FEAR YOU” in the back. (It also says “SIGN UP FOR TIDAL, PHUCKER” when you flip it inside out. I think, anyway.) The hair is sickening. The body is snatched. But let us not be distracted by the overall message: Rihanna is not taking your bullshit.
Kesha! You might not know, but the Artist Formerly Known As K-e-dollar sign-ha has been touring in smaller venues around the country…and major festivals in Brazil, of course. That’s right: She RTed for Brazil. LEARN FROM THIS, LESSER POP DIVAS.
But did you know she was also the first pop diva to debut Rihanna’s very same “YOU WILL NEVER OWN ME” Discount Universe dress on Instagram weeks ago? She deleted it quickly after posting, but her tone remains very pointed, considering the whole never-ending messy legal battle with Dr. Luke. The message reads loud and clear: Kesha is not taking your bullshit.
Friends, when you’re the reigning Queen Of Las Vegas™, a demonstrated Exceptional Earner™ and an all-around-the-world Pretty Girl™, do you think you have to put up with anyone’s bullshit? The answer, of course, is a resounding…
In the final few shows of the “What It’s Like To Be Me” chanteuse’s most recent leg of Piece Of Me — during which I was personally selected as the “Freakshow” victim although that is not relevant to this particular discussion but still a thing worth noting — The Legendary Miss Britney Spears decided to speak out in the form of fashion, customizing her “Me Against The Music” look with a cool, funky an artsy-fartsy message of defiance: “YOU DON’T OWN ME.”
“Rebellion” teas, you say. Emancipatedney, you cry. Yes! Yes, yes! It’s quite clear: Britney Spears is not taking your bullshit.
Bonus round! Caitlyn Jenner isn’t a pop star (yet, anyway — praying for an electro-pop stormer that trumps Kim’s “Jam (Turn It Up)”), but she is no less a Queen, and her genuinely inspiring debut on the cover of Vanity Fair this week deserves all the snaps, slays and YASSS, QUEEN-ing a person can throw in the direction of someone who has fearlessly decided to live, #unapologetically, as their true self. Fuck anyone who has anything negative to say about it: Caitlyn Jenner — yes, with a “C”, not a “K” — looks genuinely gorgeous, and she is most certainly not taking your bullshit.
HERE’S TO SISTERS DOIN’ IT FOR THEMSELVES.