Mermaidney is magical, and obviously the best thing that has happened to Piece Of Me.

Lately, Brit’s been a profoundly single and horny mermaid, demanding orgies with hotties, lesbian sex and toe sucking.

But last night, B-Girl decided to skip out on the group sex and prove that she indeed ain’t lost the beat, pulling back her multicolor chalk-coated locks into a fierce, “Scream & Shout”-ish high ponytail for a genuinely gasp-worthy display of Danceney.

Get the fuck out of her way, because she’s ready for lift-off.

Quick question: Am I still drunk from last night, or did we all just time-travel back to 2003 in Times Square and watch her perform “Me Against The Music” during her TRL takeover?

Don’t answer that just yet, BECAUSE THAT ISN’T EVEN THE BEST PART.





You’re kidding me, right? Call me when your fave acquires aviation capabilities via scalp.

Helicopterney is even more impressive considering her complicated relationship with helicopters…

Britney Helicopter GIF


That’s not all, either: Later on in the show, B decided to get even more festive, bringing her longtime GBF Cade Hudson on-stage (can you even begin to imagine the power he wields within the community as the gay gateway directly into the life of the Living Legend?), where she let him wear her iconic head-mic and warble some “…Baby One More Time” — AND SHE LOVED IT AND LAUGHED, BECAUSE SHE IS A COOL AND HUMBLE LEGEND.

Just two funky friends goofing around on stage in the middle of Las Vegas, bein’ all silly and stuff.

AND THEN THEY WENT CLUBBING AFTER THE SHOW, AND BRITNEY BECAME AN ISLAND FANTASY CROP TOP MAMACITA. I ask you again: IS THIS 2003?! Are we turning up at Rain after a surprise late night performance?

She’s in the zone again, bitch. Prepare for B9 accordingly.

Britney Pray GIF