Madonna – err, sorry – Madame X has arrived to the party, and she’s brought Maluma as her +1.

After the formal announcement of the ❌-citing New Era over the weekend, the Portuguese Soccer Mom of Pop™ revealed on Monday (April 15) that the first single from her forthcoming album arrives on Wednesday (April 17): it’s called “Medellín,” otherwise known as the second-largest city in Colombia and, importantly, the sacred birthplace of the Pretty Boy, Dirty Boy himself.

How do I feel, knowing that Mother Madge and (one of) my Colombian husband(s) are working together? A lot of things: I feel incredibly seen. And justified for stanning since “El Perdedor.” And also incredibly horny.

Fellow Little Medonsters, do yourselves and your mental health a favor and ignore the inevitable cries of “trend-hopping!” and “she just wants to be relevant!” because, um, what does that make pop stars like Shakira, Anitta and the other Queen of Pop herself, Becky G? Guess what it actually means? She’s still a pop star, and has the taste to know that the best music being made at the moment is outside of America.

We’re going to aim high here and hope for a Madge-ified “Chantaje” – a sultry, entirely danceable reggaeton-pop duet that plays off of their chemistry. Or, perhaps she’s going to take us back to La Isla Bonita with her chico bonito. I may be blinded by standom, but I think there are far more ways this could go right than wrong.

I’m ❌-static for what will, hopefully, be a sexy serving of Colombian reggaeton king-meets-Queen of Pop ❌-cellence.


Maluma Dreamy Eyes