UPDATE: Madonna spilled the beans early…
The good news is that Madonna is (finally) using her Instagram to promote her upcoming appearance on Dua Lipa‘s “Levitating” remix with Missy Elliott and The Blessed Madonna (who is not actually Madonna) instead of insane coronavirus conspiracy theories backed by a “demon sperm” doctor, who she called her hero. (Yes, we all saw it and we did not forget.)
The bad news is that we can’t be sure of the validity of whatever the Queen of Pop™ posts anymore – and that now includes her acknowledgement of the “Levitating” remix on Tuesday (August 4), which…inexplicably includes Mark Ronson and Gwen Stefani in the image.
“Levitating Is Coming…………🪐🪐🪐. Dua Lipa, Missy Elliot and Myself!! Its so 🔥 🔥🔥……………. Aug. 14th. @dualipa @missymisdemeanorelliott #levitating,” she captioned the post, providing no further insight into the inclusion of the “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” producer and the Love. Angel. Music. Baby. chanteuse.
It is possible, I suppose, that they’re all somehow working together – the Ronson-produced, Madonna-Gwen “Cool (L.A.M.B.L.U.V.) Remix” duet we needed, or possibly additional remixes of “Levitating.” This also sort of looks like it’s part of a larger promotional image (maybe for the VMAs performers?) that wasn’t supposed to come out yet. But that’s wishful thinking, too!
And that’s not all: the Jamiroquai logo is featured on the car in the photo, too. I…what?
“Levitating” Remix (2020) pic.twitter.com/7NPVhnrg4j
— Bradley Stern (@MuuMuse) August 4, 2020
Perhaps this is truly the mother of all collaborations – or maybe it’s just a Brazilian Madonna fan account’s artwork that she found whilst checking underneath her hashtags in her rose petal and milk-filled bath and “breathing in the COVID-19 air.”
Maybe she just spoiled a behemoth remix project early. Or maybe she just created panic over fan art. Either way, one thing’s for sure: it’s time for Lourdes to do us all a solid and take away her mother’s iPhone for good while she’s busy doing afternoon bikram yoga with boyfriend Ahlamalik Williams who, I am sad to inform you all, has also been promoting the coronavirus conspiracy shit on his social media too.
On the bright side, at least Dua – bless her heart for enduring this – is still excited: “It began as a collaboration with The Blessed Madonna who is a DJ, & we created a fun dance remix of the track. And I was like ‘Y’know who would sound great on this? Madonna & Missy Elliott!’ I was hoping for one of them to say yes, or that both would say no. But for them to both be like ‘Yeah, totally up for it! Love the track!’ it was like ‘AAAAA!’ I can’t wait for everyone to hear it, because it’s really special,” she said in a recent interview on Ash London LIVE.
Time goes by…so strangely. Bring on “Levitating (feat. Hydroxychloroquine).”
— KalliDonna (@Madonna_Kalli) August 1, 2020