Taylor Swift might have just announced a second surprise album, but there’s a far more pressing pop panic to be had at the moment: Rachel Fucking Stevens is back. Sort of.

In what can only be described as a Hanukkah miracle, the 42-year-old S Club 7-member-turned-solo star and Jewish Princess of Pop returned to us on Wednesday night (December 9) in the form of a gig, as the host of the Cabaret All Stars show at Proud Embankment, a cabaret and jazz spot and supper club in London.

A description of the gig: “Join us for a Christmas spectacular featuring top talent from the stage and screen and World Class Cabaret and Circus performers on the Proud stage. This is the only show to see in the West End this Christmas, the acts that everybody is talking about. This show must be seen to be believed! Indulge in our brand new Asian Modern European fusion cuisine menu, sample our carefully created cocktails, and prepare to be amazed. Spend an evening with Rachel Stevens and Europe’s best cabaret stars in Proud Embankments showstopper ‘Cabaret All Stars’. PROUD Embankment proudly presents it’s newest, hottest show. Cabaret All Stars is a Vegas style show introduced to London’s West End by the actress, soloist, and TV celebrity, Rachel Stevens. With performances embodying the spirit of the swinging sixties & sexy seventies, we give you an experience of a lifetime. Enjoy world-class jazz musicians and on-stage bands, award-winning acrobats, fire breathers and burlesque beauties. Be prepared to be amazed. This is an unforgettable night out.”

If your first thought, like me – immediately after “Am I having a fever dream?” – is “But the pandemic?!” there is apparently a workaround at the venue: attendees must guarantee their table is from one household or work bubble and can only sit in groups of six. Okay, then!

Based on the footage from the crowd, it appears that Rachel at the very least did a cover of the classic “Fever,” as well as “Sweet Dreams My LA Ex” – WITH the ribbon dancing, no less – and “Some Girls.” (!!!)

She looks and sounds incredible of course (live vocals!), but I only have more questions as I watch in disbelief over and over again. Will she be doing more songs from the back catalog at the next few shows, like “So Good”? Or “Negotiate With Love”? Did manifesting a Rachel Stevens comeback under the blue moon work? Will there be more (more, more) coming from Rachel Stevens based on the sheer panic this has caused among pop circles? For the uninitiated, go give Come & Get It a listen – it’s one of the Top 10 best pop records of the 21st century. (And don’t forget that unreleased track!)

She said never again, but here we are: further proof that you’ll never be able to guess what’s just around the corner in 2020 – down to the very end. (For the glam shots, head to Daily Mail.)