Queen Coco Set to Dominate Music Industry with Debut Single, “Shoe Freak”

You probably know her as the wife of Ice-T.

Maybe you’ve admired her work as a model between the sticky pages of such notable magazines as Playboy, flaunting the assets that keep Nicki Minaj pounding down Big Macs on a nightly basis.

Or perhaps you’ve seen her on Twitter, where she rings in not-yet-official national holidays including “Titty Tuesdays” and “Thong Thursdays” with NSFW TwitPics for her adoring masses.

One way or another, you know Coco: Wife. Model. Actress. Legend. Now, the buxom blonde can safely add another job title to her CV: Chanteuse.

Shoe Freak by mjs538

“Shoe Freak” is the debut single by Coco, set to be released to iTunes at some undetermined point in the future.

In what is rapidly shaping up to be the greatest ode to footery and label whoring since Jennifer Lopez‘s “Louboutins”–nay, perhaps even Heidi Montag‘s “Fashion.” (Yes, I know it’s Lady Gaga‘s song, but let’s not even pretend to wonder whose version is superior), Coco seductively twirls through 16 different designer’s names above an early ’90’s runway club beats without even a single stumble over a foreign syllable.

Miu miu,” Queen Coco purrs, as though taunting us all with a shout-out to MuuMuse. Add in some soulful cries of “Shoe freak!” that serve us some serious church realness, and you’ve got the greatest modern ballroom track since Malcolm McLaren‘s “Deep In Vogue.”

National reports conclude that both Heidi Montag and Paris Hilton were last seen entering into a local police station in downtown L.A. to file preemptive robbery claims for their wigs.

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