Madonna Louise Esther Ciccone, Queen of Literally Everything (except for Lourdes, who can’t be tamed), is about to release “Turn Up The Radio,” the third single from her twelfth studio album, MDNA.

Earlier today, the “I’m Going Bananas” Icon premiered 30 seconds of the upcoming video–which was shot in Florence by fashion photographer Tom Munro (of “Give It 2 Me” average-dom)–on Daybreak in the UK. And it’s…bad.

I know, it’s only 30 seconds! I know, the MDNA campaign is all about FUN! And YOUTHFULNESS! And ADIDAS SOCKS ON OUR ARMS! But it’s just sort of…it’s not anything, really.

Yes, Madonna is more important than the Pope and should go on rides to greet commoners and bless their lives with a naughty smirk and a wink. And yes, she does looks gorgeous. But are we really about to watch a boring car commercial? AND WHERE’S YOUR SEAT BELT, YOUNG LADY?

Simply put: The fact that Madonna wasted the time, energy and money to film herself driving around Florence for a while is thoroughly depressing. If anything, she should have just released a live performance clip from the MDNA Tour. HO HUM.

Can’t we just fast-forward to the part in the campaign when Madonna finally collaborates with Quentin Tarantino and makes a 15-minute mini-epic Kill Bill-esque clip for “Gang Bang”? Or a dark, smoky club sequence for “I’m Addicted”? Or a sequel to “What It Feels Like For A Girl” for “Some Girls”? OR “LOVE SPENT”?

The full video premieres Monday, when I will hopefully be proven wrong and spend the whole week gagging on the evidence of its brilliance. Somehow, I highly doubt that will be the case.

MDNA was released on May 26. (iTunes)