BOW DOWN.
Get down on your knees and behold, basic bitches: Phoenixtina Risinguilera has arrived–ditching the crown, the fan, and switching out the Blu-Red lipstick in favor of Prima Donna Pink–to reign on the cover of Billboard Magazine this week.
Though the legend had little to say to the lessers about anything but The Voice, Billboard insiders were able to sneak into her dressing room, snag a copy of Lotus and give us some tiny, Excluusive details regarding the Bionic follow-up:
Due Nov. 13 on RCA, “Lotus” refers to the “rebirth” Aguilera underwent both personally and professionally, opting not to work with longtime songwriting partners like Linda Perry in favor of such newer collaborators as Alex Da Kid, Sia, Candice Pillay and even pop maestro Max Martin, on first single “Your Body,” which hit radio and iTunes last week and bows at No. 33 on Billboard’s Mainstream Top 40 chart this week.
Like on Stripped, Aguilera dips into many genres-from dance-pop on “Your Body” and “Make the World Move” (a duet with fellow “Voice” coach Cee Lo Green), piano-driven power ballads (“Sing for Me,” Sia collaboration “Blank Page”) and rock-tinged empowerment anthems (“Army of Me,” “Cease Fire”). The album even opens with a quick sample of M83’s “Midnight City” on the title track, an experimental table-setter where Aguilera resolves to “leave the past behind/Say goodbye to the scared child inside.”
The “Sex for Breakfast” songstress spoke about her irreplaceable legacy at The Voice, as well as her concerns regarding the amount of time she had to be a legend on her own.
“It’s been a joy to be a part of other people’s journey, to be able to inspire and be a part of new singers coming up in this business,” she says. “But I was starting to get really worried and concerned that I wouldn’t have the time to go and be an artist again.”
There was also some rambling by producer Alex Da Kid (“She definitely had a strong opinion, but she’ll go with the best idea in the room”), which definitely does not sound like there was a pink-tipped woman wearing a studded diaper standing behind him with a loaded gun the entire time he was being interviewed.
Following the Billboard exclusive, Legendtina flew directly to MuuMuse headquarters in Kentwood, Louisiana for an Excluusive interview.
Sitting atop a custom-built red swivel chair she requested prior to the interview, Our Lady of Woohoo described the record as her “rebirth” (or “afterbirth,” or something–it was admittedly hard to tell in between bites of her Stripped Chalupa Supreme) before tossing the rest of the chalupa at a fan’s head and spilling the Back To Basics promotional tea.
“It is legendary,” cackled Legendtina. “I imagine most other pop artists will retire when my Lotus blossoms.” After screaming at a MuuMuse intern to bow down and kiss her stilettos (which he did), she went on to elaborate: “Each track is an iconic game-changer. The fat one from my show is on one of the songs. Plus, Baby Max helped me write a bulk of the record in order to help capture my inner scared child–like my new single, ‘Your Body’ which is out on iTunes now. SAY!”
We tried to pry further regarding the specific titles revealed in the Billboard story: When asked about the subject matter of “Blank Page,” she put a finger up toward her lips and whispered: “La respuesta es en Mi Reflejo. Ay, dámelo duro.”
When asked whether “Army of Me” was a cover of Björk‘s classic, Legendtina paused thoughtfully for a moment and responded: “Who?” Then, without notice, she blew a kiss, shouted “Besos!” and vanished into the night sky.
We’ve yet to get the scent of Christina Aguilera: Royal Desire out of the carpets.
