kelly-clarkson-doctors-people-like-us-video

The video for Kelegendary Clarkson‘s almighty empowerment anthem, “People Like Us,” has arrived.

It’s weird. But also amazing. Let us review.

So, Kelly Clarkson is a scientist — but like, a really pretty one. And she and her fellow monochrome colleagues are studying a little colorful girl, who looks very scared. It’s really just not a good situation. Seems ominous. Very shady.

Why? ‘Cause they’re running really weird tests on the little girl, like making her stare at an abacus. What is she doing? Re-tallying the votes from the night Ryan Starr was voted off on Season 1 of American Idol? (SHE WAS ROBBED.)

clarkson1

And then, they decide to run some scans on the little girl. Kelly’s getting uncomfortable — so much so, that she breaks out her COMPLETELY DISCREET LIME GREEN NOKIA PHONE to snap some photos of the tiny angel when no one’s looking. Why? Because pretty pictures, and oh — what a phone it is! With its sleek design, vibrant screen resolution and superior photo-taking ability (and it looks like it runs at lightning fast 4G speed!), who wouldn’t want a phone like Kelly? Product placement? Who’s she?

Anyway. Enough’s ENOUGH. Kelly is just like, not, having it. She has HAD IT, so she is no longer having it.

The girl’s now locked in some room like a beautiful disaster, and Kelly’s just looking at her with big empathetic eyes, because she knows how it feels to be low when the truth comes out and you’re the last to know.

clarkson3

So she rushes in and she’s all, like “Hey girl, don’t cry. Smear your hand on my face.” AND LO AND BEHOLD: Kelly Clarkson is colorful too! Why? Because a flaw-free chanteuse with such impressive range and incredibly colorful vocals couldn’t just be black and white. SHE IS A CHOSEN COLOR PERSON TOO.

So, they escape — in a COMPLETELY DISCREET FIRE ENGINE RED BMW. That’s quite a car, eh? Look at the style and luxury of that BMW. It handles so well during this high-speed chase! Surely it would make for an excellent buy for anyone in the market for a car right now. Product placement? I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.

clarkson2

After a little tunnel action, the Stronger Chanteuse and her Poly-Color Polly Pocket successfully BREAKAWAY from the secret agents, joining a whole bunch of other people in the land of color. And then you realize what Kellegendary has done here: IT IS ALL JUST ONE ELEBORATE METAPHOR. The colorful people represent a kind of otherdom — race, religion, sexuality, iconicness — and it’s the Matrix-esque men in suits who are the real freaks. YEAH!

Yeah.