SMURF THE SMURF DOWN AND SMURF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
Today is Smurfsday, and we all know what that means: The video for Britney‘s Smurfs 2 single and future Academy Award winner for Best Original Song, “Ooh La La,” has arrived.
Grab your Smurf Blue Starbucks frappes, 7″ limited edition Smurf blue vinyls and pour out the Smurf-scented potpourri — ’cause we’re heading down to Smurf Village, y’all!
Brit Brit and her boys are enjoying a casual night out at the movies. They originally planned to go see Crossroads 2: Cross Harder, but it was already sold out. So, they’re at the premiere of Smurfs 2 instead.
Suddenly, Brit Brit gets zapped straight into the movie! That’s right: Britney singing the Smurfs 2 soundtrack, watching the Smurfs 2, getting zapped into Smurfs 2. METANEY. (It might have also been a burst of dark magic from Gaga‘s ARTPOP spellbook or electricity from Rihanna‘s Illuminati iPhone — still unclear.)
But don’t be ascurred — B-Girl’s fine! She’s having a blast going downtown where her posses at in Smurf Village! (REFERENCE.) She’s so in the smurf spirit, in fact, she starts to shimmy, shake and spin around just the way she likes, all while serving up some iconic Tongueney and Femme Fatale Tour “I Wanna Go” air one-handed raise-the-roof hopping.
She’s also hanging out with her BFF Smurfette, voiced by Katy Perry. It’s a Smurfage Dream!
The Holy Spearit also spends some time auditioning dancers for her upcoming show, Britney Spears: Live In Las Vegas (Again).
Meanwhile, Sean Preston and Jayden James are positively living for all of this back in the movie theater, shelling out Mommy’s constructive criticism on X Factor (“Cool!”) and flaunting their advanced acting chops that will inevitably drive Brad Pitt and George Clooney into early retirement. (Sean’s giving you that childlike wonderment and glee, while Jayden’s working the “You tried it” side-eye and wondering when he’s free to go rock the spots again.)
And don’t forget Queen Maddie Briann sitting in the back, popping in from the studio while recording her upcoming urban-inspired debut record, Twerkin’ With Maddie.
By the end, Queen B and her boys are dancing in front of a Smurf blue background, allowing you a rare glimpse at America’s Royal Family and proving that Britney Spears is the cutest mom/pop legend ever. (It is customary to bow the smurf down at this point, lessers.)
Basically, “Ooh La La” is the very essence of Adorableney, Milfney and Adultney all in one go.
And in case you’re pressed that this isn’t “I’m A Slave 4 U” 2.0, just remember: Our very own Pop Princess-now-Queen of Pop (REFERENCE) is only doing this little $ide thing with her bbs for fun while she records her most personal album yet, Album 8, otherwise known as Blackout 2.0: It Gets Urbaner And Also More Spearitual (We’re Just Having Lots Of Lunches Right Now). We are unprepared for what’s truly next.
Keep on smurfin’ till the world ends!
“Ooh La La” was released on June 18. (iTunes)
Lots o’ GIFs courtesy of xmidnightfantasy.