New York, NY (Legendtina News Network) – Gossip blogger of dwindling popularity Perez Hilton has named “Hoy Tengo Ganas De Ti” chanteuse and 4-time Grammy Award winner Legendtina Goduilera in a line-up of alleged victims of “#SABOTAGE” by professional goose impersonator and pop newcomer Lady Gaga, in what is arguably the most important list in US history since Senator Joseph McCarthy’s list of known communists working within the State Department.
According to her management, Legendtina and her dedicated fleet of fans are now “checking over the receipts” on her past two studio albums — 2010’s Bionic and 2012’s Lotus — to investigate any obvious signs of sales tampering. However, it has already been confirmed by Legendtina’s camp that a promotional copy of “Not Myself Tonight” sent to radio stations nationwide in April of 2010 turned out to be a homemade CD-R containing a file called “Alejandro.mp3.”
This is the not the first time Legendtina’s name has been invoked regarding Gaga’s recent promotional efforts: Music scholars around the world noted that the first photos for the “Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)” songstress’ upcoming ARTPOP campaign were in fact an homage to Legendtina’s advanced album dedicated to true lovers of music, Bionic.
“I still don’t know if that is a man or a woman, nor do I know what an ‘ARTPOP‘ is, but I do know that individual is most certainly a bobblehead who can spin around in circles on my middle finger,” Legendtina growled to the LNN during a tense and uncomfortable phone exchange.
While awaiting further clarification from Hilton regarding these shockingly shady new allegations, Legendtina says she plans to spend the next few months “reigning supreme” on The Voice. She also encourages everyone to “let there be love” and to “buy Lotus.”
A representative from Gaga’s camp could not be reached for comment.