Ke$ha Fulfills Illuminati Contractual Obligation With Pitbull’s “Timber” Video

Dale!

It’s time for the video premiere of actually-not-all-that-bad AMAs host Pitbull‘s “Timber,” featuring everyone’s favorite drunk-pop glitter princess being held against her will: Ke$ha!

Last night, the duo premiered the track live on the American Music Awards. It was nice and lively and whatnot, except for the part where Ke$ha’s eyes were all Femme Fatale Tour Meet & Greetney Britney, like “HELP ME, I HATE ALL OF THIS.”

Ke$ha looks foine as hayl flipping her multi-colored hair and bending over dirty old cars and saloon entrances, even though it’s all sort of vaguely misogynist. Like, oh! Here are some sexy ladies twerking on top of the bar, Cowboy Ugly style. And where’s Pitbull? He’s feeling up some supermodel on a gorgeous beach somewhere. Oh, to be Mr. Worldwide!

Don’t get me wrong: It’s not like all this twerking and whatnot offends my delicate sensibilities. Hardly! It just doesn’t feel like Ke$ha’s the one calling the shots here. (After all, it’s Pitbull’s video.)

As a result, this video looks a lot less like K$’s usual brand of messy rock-out-with-your-cock-out empowerment and more like, well…a Hooters Fantasy.

hooters

…Blurgh. #FREEKESHA.

“Timber” was released on October 7. (iTunes)

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