In the world of the Legendary Miss Britney Spears, nothing is ever as it seems.
At first, I Am Britney Jean had us believing “Alien” would be beamed down as the third single off of Britney Jean.
Then, a bunch of remixes for the will.i.cant‘s #BasicBanger “It Should Be Easy” plopped out and started to get serviced to radio, and we all braced for impact. And then, “Now That I Found You” came floating down on a pair of heavenly “Everytime” wings onto Brit Brit’s VEVO account, and we were just starting to strap on our #plur #EDM #candykids ravewear to go festival hopping with Aviciiney.
And now, things just got even more personal: A set of officially commissioned remixes for everyone’s favorite Thirstin’ For The D anthem and #SomethingMoreUrban Blackout 2.0-esque jam “Tik Tik Boom,” featuring PETA’s favorite rapper, T.I. has now arrived.
“Tik Tik Boom” is probably not being released as an official single, but then, who knows? What even is a single, y’all? At this point, it seems like Britney’s going ahead and pulling an Oprah: “YOU GET A SINGLE! AND YOU GET A SINGLE! AND YOU GET A SINGLE!”
Basically, Britney Jean has become the unofficial third installment of B In The Mix.
But whatever — we’ve suddenly been blessed with remixes, and we remain deeply unworthy. So DJ, what you waiting for? (REFERENCE). Turn, turn it up and get down to the sound of Brit Brit moaning and thirsting for that D — and let us not forget to bask in the glory of all of her Spearitual runs at the end of the song. (“Yea-ah-uh-uh!”)
My favorites so far? The WAWA and Thin Red Men club mixes have me grinding up on the walls at the moment, but they’re all very cool, fun and urban.
Slip on your stiletto boots and hit the pole tonight. Not too slow, not too quick…let’s do this, bitches.
‘Britney Jean’ was released on December 3. (iTunes)