Stop me if you’ve heard this before: When she’s not busy releasing Japanese-exclusive skincare lines, mass-marrying couples live on television with Macklemore or twerking with Miley, Queen of Everything Madonna enjoys herself a good ol’ fashioned at-home Instagram photo shoot in the bathroom. (All the more reason a collaboration with fellow Instagram model and Illuminati Queen Rihanna has never been more necessary.)

A chic set-up in some posh locale? Who needs it? When you’re the Material Girl, all you need is your heavenly body — and some conversation piece jewelry, of course.

This past weekend, the “Spotlight” chanteuse posted a series of glam shots of herself having a body party in a bathroom once again, flaunting a Ray Of Light-meets-Re-Invention Tour kind of regal beauty that only a true Queen could ever possess. Throw in some lace gloves (the new MDNA staple) and an oh-so-Madonna conversational combo of “TRUST NO BITCH” and “TRUST NO MAN” necklaces (PREACH!), and the look is complete: You’ve got yourself a proper pop star in the shower.

“Let the games begin! Shabbat Shalom! #hollywoodswingin” she happily declared. (Good Shabbos to you, Esther!) “Sometimes you have to get dirty before you can feel clean. Underneath the darkness there is light! #revolutionoflove” she said in another. “Im just sayin……………… #speakthetruthandshamethedevil,” she explained in a third. (What she’s saying, actually, is a variation on the Ancient Hebrew proverb: “I’m not your bitch, don’t hang your shit on me.”)

Sometimes, the best ideas come to you mid-shower. Is she brainstorming the MDNA follow-up in there? Let us get on our knees and pray.

And then, there was her annual Oscars private party, hosted at Guy Oseary‘s mansion last night. (Still unclear on whether Adele Dazeem was invited.) Never one to let any old (golden) man steal the show, Madonna wore Neil Lane diamonds to the exclusive event — lots of them.

From US Weekly:

The press release announced Madonna wore 1,000 carats of diamonds up the wrist and on her ears, including diamond and platinum bracelets and earrings. In addition to the Neil Lane jewels, the blonde superstar adorned her eye-catching gown with even more jewels. Leaning against a wall in her pic, Madonna flashes the camera an intense gaze as she wears a crystal-coated pendant on her head and diamond-covered cross necklace around her neck.

To put Madonna’s 1,000-carat diamonds into proper perspective: Oscar presenter Anne Hathaway, who looked gorgeous at the Dolby Theatre wearing a black silk crepe Gucci column gown, paired her outfit with 100-carats of diamond and platinum bracelets by Neil Lane. The total cost of Hathaway’s jewels amounted to a cool $1 million.

Madonna: She’s a diamond in their dull gray lives.