The 2014 MET Gala, a thing where celebrities wear fancy couture while non-celebrities take to Twitter to come up with hilarious one-liners about their outfits, is happening right now uptown. The theme is “White Ties & Decorations,” which sounds like a horrible sequel to Justin Timberlake‘s “Suit & Tie.” And it sort of is.

Luckily, a certain Barbadian Queen has arrived to save the day.

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PHUCK YO GALA.

I’m not really one to comment on fashion (phashion?) — I’m not even sure if the MET Gala is a man or a woman, to be honest — but I do know that our faithful Navy Commander, Queen of Instagram and Illuminati Empress Rihanna has just won all of the awards with her MET Gala look (lewk).

From topless French ‘zines to stealing the show in virgin white Stella McCartney, that’s just how a bad bitch rolls.

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Not that I’m surprised: She could have strolled down the red carpet in a plain white tee that read “Follow me on Instagram, heauxs!” and still would have been the best dressed of the night.

I mean…

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NO BASIC ZONE.