Katy Perry!

The female answer to Weird Al Yankovic is reportedly due to pay to play at the 2015 Super Bowl halftime show, following in the footsteps of several legendary females before her, including Diana Ross, Britney Spears, Madonna, Beyoncé and Bruno Mars.

That’s great and all — Katy Perry is about as All-American Girl as it gets, what with the aggressively garbage music, big boobs, rampant cultural insensitivity and inability to grasp the concept of feminism — but weren’t there some slightly better candidates in the mix?

For instance…

1.) Rihanna

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2.) Madonna again

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3.) Beyoncé again

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4.) “Oops (Oh My)” chanteuse, Tweet

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5.) A small TV sitting on a stool playing Britney’s 2007 MTV Video Music Awards performance

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6.) American Idol Season 1 finalist, Ryan Starr

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7.) A giant stuffed Totoro

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8.) Floam

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9.) A common household lamp

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10.) Heidi Montag

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Who would you like to see perform at the 2015 Super Bowl? There is still time to pick one of these superior candidates, NFL!