Iggy Azalea, sworn enemy of Papa John’s Pizza and PR nightmare, has Taken To The Twitter many, many times — regardless of how many self-imposed (and/or management enforced) social media breaks she’s had — to engage in what can only be described as willfully ignorant repeat attempts to undermine what’s left of her career.
And today, rather than shutting off her phone and hitting the recording studio, or grabbing a sensible caesar salad with her (former?) new BFF Britney Spears, or perhaps just luxuriating by the pool with her new fiancé, she decided once again to briefly break her Twitter hiatus to respond to the question of “Pretty Girls” being a bit of a “flop.”
Oops!…She did it again, if you will.
The headlines that have come out of her tweets today are overblown, which is to be expected: “Britney’s Why Our Song Bombed.” “Iggy Azalea Blames Britney For ‘Pretty Girls’ Flop.” “Iggy Azalea: I Don’t Have To Suck Britney Spears’s Asshole 24/7.” (I do like that last one. Shout out to Bobby.)
Of course, she didn’t take to those headlines too well.
And to Iggy’s credit, she has a totally valid point: There were no “Pretty Girls” performances, apart from the lone alien tag-team beamed in from the 2015 Billboard Awards. And it’s true, #Content is really important in this day and age. Maybe they should have done, like, some Buzzfeed GIFs!
But while Iggy might not be blaming Brit Brit herself personally (and I genuinely don’t think she is!), she really, really got it royally fucked up with this “Unfortunately I’m just featured…” business. Oh, really Iggy?
Okay. Let’s back it up a bit.
“Just featured” is a hilarious new way for Iggy to now describe her involvement in the song, which she’s been bragging about co-writing and co-directing for months on end on Twitter, effectively taking it upon herself to be the official spokesperson for the song.
Remember that interview where she claimed that she was deciding whether or not it was going to be on Britney’s album or her own?
But, don’t worry — she’s just featured.
Oh, yes! And remember when “Pretty Girls” mysteriously had a single art makeover right after its public reveal with the “feat.” being changed to a to “&” out of nowhere?
Don’t worry, though — she’s just featured.
Regardless of the quality of the song — which is, realest of real talks, at the very, very bottom of Britney’s discography, just below her duet with Don Philip — Iggy consistently sabotaged the roll-out of this single ever since she took it upon herself to confirm the collaboration in an unceremonious Twitter response to a stan back in November of 2014, only to then take it upon herself again to confirm its release in “early 2015”.
The song wouldn’t come out for nearly six more months, but don’t blame Iggy for getting your hopes up early — she’s just featured.
Also, another thing? Promo is a lot of things, but it actually isn’t everything. Madonna‘s hustled her #UnapologeticRebelAss off in every way imaginable with this latest studio album. And it’s not a shit album, either. It’s amazing. And where, exactly, is it sitting on the charts? (Don’t ask, actually. Sore subject.)
We all know Brit Brit likes doing promo about as much as she enjoys fuckin’ waiting for Larry to turn on the fireworks. Hardcore promo? In the middle of a Piece Of Me run, no less? No, sorry.
Her sole interview to promote Blackout back in the dark days of 2007 was a phoned-in (literally) radio chat with Ryan Seacrest, during which she left to take a shower in the middle of the conversation. That album still managed to go to #2, for the record. (REFERENCE.)
In the end, Iggy might very well be right about promo, but it’s still not a cute look. As a professional, you don’t hop on Twitter and throw your current single under the
bus Jeep because it’s underperforming — especially when you’re “just featured.” And let’s not even get into the Pride show cancellation, or the embarrassing viral spiral of those freestyle skills.
The real reason “Pretty Girls” didn’t perform? I-G-G-Y do you even have to ask? You already know…
Luckily, as with so many of life’s unpleasantries, The Holy Spearit remains a deeply unbothered exceptional earner, which is why — unlike some people — she has a show to perform for the duration of the year.
And with one fierce moment of Subtle Shadeney this evening, B’s keeping this moving right along.
Can’t wait to get back to Vegas. So thankful I have shows for the rest of the year to look forward to… #YouWantAPieceOfMe
— Britney Spears 🌹🚀 (@britneyspears) June 29, 2015
“So thankful I have shows…” Good luck to you, Amethyst.
Now, someone please call Giorgio and a video crew. Let’s open that diner up for business, already.