The Miley Cyrus “Wrecking Ball” Video: An Exercise In Doing The Most

miley-cyrus-wrecking-ball-video

Clinically untamable, loose-tongued pop princess Miley Cyrus is back at it again — and this time, she’s coming in like a wrecking ball.

Moments ago, the “We Can’t Stop” songstress dropped the video for her Terry Richardson-directed clip for “Wrecking Ball,” the legitimately amazing, hater-silencing ’80’s power ballad-sounding second single from her upcoming album, BANGERZ.

Taking a break from generating cultural appropriation essays for a quick moment, Miss Smiley now finds herself on a construction site, serving Sinead O’Connor “Nothing Compares 2U” realness while tearing up in front of the camera.

miley-ball

But don’t worry — forget all that sincere shit! Miley backs away from the lens and puts on her best Lil’ Miss Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct outfit to saddle up and lick down all things metal and concrete — providing plenty of fodder for object sexuality thinkpieces while doing so.

miley-wrecking-balls

But seriously, #PhuckYoHardHats y’all — Miley’s doin’ it in the buff and showing off her mini-wrecking balls in all their glory, riding that ball like it’s holding onto the last Hannah Montana royalty paycheck. Wait, sorry — Terry Richardson directed a video where a young girl takes off all her clothes? DID NOT SEE COMING.

miley-lick-wrecking-ball

And then there’s that tongue. That fucking tongue.

Did you think she was going to leave the tongue action on the stage of the VMAs? Think again. Miley’s lapping up concrete dusting left and right on her Mighty Miley Mallet (copyright pending), reaffirming that age-old adage: “When it doubt, lick it out.”

On the one hand, you could say: “Hey, she got you talking — just like at the VMAs!” Therefore, it worked or something, cementing her status (NAILED IT) as the leading post-Disney pop princess of our day.

On the other, you could say she just converted one of the year’s most beautiful pop ballads into some sort of softcore porn romp for true lovers of construction.

Me? I (mostly) loved the video — but the relentless licking has got to go. PopJustice addressed the #MILEYTONGUE problem quite well. It’s not edgy, sexy or interesting. It’s just…

bangerz-promo

…this.

Imagine what she’d be capable of if she actually allowed herself to stop and be tamed for a minute.

Oh, and consider yourselves #blessed: You made it through an entire article about Miley Cyrus without reading the word “twerk.” Wait. Fuck.

Bangerz will be released on October 8. (iTunes)

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