LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (New York, NY) — Proud OREO® spokeslegend, Glam X perfumier and four-time Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards nominee Legendtina Christina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera made a thunderous return to the forefront of pop culture once again last evening in Las Vegas (Apr. 5) — in virtual form, that is.
The Mi Reflejo chanteuse, who has selflessly devoted the entirety of 2017 to tirelessly promoting Milk’s favorite cookie , made a jaw-dropping, ethnically ambiguous cameo in the “Nobody Wants To Be Lonely” video backdrop during opening night of “Livin’ La Vida Loca” singer Ricky Martin‘s #ALLIN Las Vegas residency, marking her most recent collaboration with a Latin artist since globally revered 2013 duet with Alejandro Fernandez, “Hoy Tengo Ganas de Ti.”
Early reviews of the virtual reunion from the most prestigious outlets in music criticism are wildly positive, with Rolling Stone raving “Who was that in the video?”, Vanity Fair declaring “Oh shit, that happened? I went to the bathroom right before that song started” and TIME proclaiming “So she hasn’t released an album in five years, but she’s out here doing backdrops for Ricky Martin? Bitch, I’m through.”
“Honestly? He begged,” the Lotus star revealed to us in an Excluusive phone interview before putting down the phone for several minutes to dunk a few delicious, Wonderfilled™ OREO®s into a glass of milk.
“We recorded that track together many, many, many years ago. As you know, I’ve always been open to taking newcomers under my wigs, as I demonstrated with Sia, M.U.A. and Nicki Mirage on Bionic. I didn’t know who he was at the time. In fact, I assumed he was a session singer. I still don’t really know who he is now.”
Incredibly, the virtual collaboration almost didn’t happen at all.
“We did have a…disagreement,” she snarled.
“I simply suggested a very slight tweak of the lyrics to reflect the current political climate, which is the responsible thing to do in these troubled times. Something like…,” she explained before suddenly scream-singing: “MILK IS PRECIOUS AND IT’S DRIPPIN’ AWAY / And I’ve been craving for you all of my life / Nobody wants to dunk lonely, so why / Why don’t you let me eat you? SAY!”
Ricky Martin, apparently, wouldn’t budge on the lyrical switch-up.
So what caused the incredibly busy, constantly evolving singer to move forward with the cameo anyway?
“The coin, sweetie. HA!” she cackled.
“No but really,” she continued, “as a tireless ally of the LGBT community and the first inductee into the Hollywood Gay Walk of Fame, this cause was close to my heart. I mean, a Las Vegas residency? He must be hurting. I knew that this was something I simply had to do to help him out — and another thing I need to do is grab one of these delicious OREO® snacks!”
While Legendtina went on to extensively discuss the details of her upcoming fragrance GlamOREO®us, her OREO®-sponsored workout DVD series Legendteeny: Dunking the Pounds Away and, intriguingly, her OREO®-branded line of adult toys (“oh, I’ll tell you all about getting double stuffed — HA!“), our connection suddenly cut out when asked about a possible follow-up to 2012’s Lotus. She could not be reached for a follow-up interview.
Until then, our fingers remain crossed — and full of cookie crumbles.
Legendtina is an ongoing fan-fiction series…and if you don’t like it, fuck you.
Give yourself the star treatment for the #OreoDunkChallenge. Try your dunk for a chance to win. #Ad pic.twitter.com/V62Fdg6qxJ
— Christina Aguilera (@xtina) April 6, 2017