Summer Rain: Is This Song The Inspiration Behind Legendtina's Baby Name?

On August 16, The Heir To The Throne was born. Yet no one could predicted the next Queen Of Pop's name would be... SUMMER RAIN. So proud to welcome our beautiful daughter Summer Rain Rutler into the world. — Christina Aguilera (@xtina) August 18, 2014 ...that is, except for Legendtina…


Legendtina Gives Birth To The Heir To The Throne

"Whose birthday?" she moans into her phone, rubbing her now deflated belly. "Oh, I had no idea. She must be very honored to share it with my little one. Please send Madulla my regards — it's really quite an achievement to turn 80," she says before tossing the pink RAZR to the foot of the bed. Last…


Legendtina Reigns Supreme As The Queen Of PregnanSAY! For 'V Magazine'

LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (New York, NY) — GRAMMY Award-winning chanteuse, eos Lip Balm spokeslegend and assumed direct genetic descendent of Gautama Buddha, Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera, reigns supreme for V Magazine today. In what The New York Times is now declaring as "more…


Inside Legendtina's Baby Shower: A LNN Excluusive

LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (Los Angeles, CA) — GRAMMY Award-winning chanteuse, Reflections on Ice: Michelle Kwan Skates to the Music of Disney's 'Mulan' contributor and presumed author of the Lotus Sutra Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera has just celebrated the impending arrival of The Heir…


Legendtina Reigns At Jazz Fest 2014, Remains Most Important Contribution To Jazz Since Invention Of The Trumpet

NEW ORLEANS, LA (LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK) — Mother, Red Hot Kinda Lover and Jazz Music National Treasure Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera delivered a sensational headlining set at the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival over the weekend, in what The Jazz Academy of Music is now calling…


Legendtina Blesses Gwen Stefani With A Tweet

So excited to have you join #TheVoice squad @GwenStefani! Welcome to our crazy fam! Kisses- xoxo #blondesdoitbest — Christina Aguilera (@xtina) April 29, 2014 NEW YORK, NY (LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK) – Future mother of two, tireless LGBT Warrior, Nintendo's Tomodachi Life surprise cameo…


Legendtina Makes Surprise Cameo In Nintendo's 'Tomodachi Life', Renders Beyoncé's Surprise Album Irrelevant

TOKYO, JAPAN (LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK) – In a move that is now being breathlessly described by critics as "more culturally relevant and important than Beyoncé's surprise album," part-time Malaysian entertainer, full-time Burlesque screen icon Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera has made a…


Legendtina Reveals She Is A True Lover Of Steak, Blowjobs

Hope you all cashed in this month on steak & BJ day...if not, celebrate tonight! :) — Christina Aguilera (@xtina) March 21, 2014 LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (Los Angeles, CA) — Newly engaged chanteuse, 2012 Soundtrack Of The Year Japan Gold Disk Award winner and sexier, more selfless version of…


Legendtina, True Lover of Love, Announces Engagement To Fan Matt Rutler

LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (Los Angeles, CA) — Global icon, Four time Blockbuster Entertainment Award-winning chanteuse and undisputed Queen of Features Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera is engaged. After a ruthless shade attack dealt by non-true lover of music Prince Charles earlier in the…


Legendtina In Critical Condition Following Ruthless Shade Attack By Prince Charles

LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (London, England) — GRAMMY Award-winning chanteuse, LGBT activist and modern society’s more talented and attractive answer to Jesus Christ, Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera, is currently being held under close watch in the Bionic Care Wing of Legendtina's Lair…


Legendtina To Perform For True Lovers of Jazz At Jazz Fest 2014

LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (New Orleans, LA) - "Do What U Want" saving grace, La Tempestad theme song belter and newly VEVO-certified "Your Body" icon Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera will be heading down to Louisiana this Spring to headline at the 2014 New Orleans Jazz Fest. Often cited as…


Cat-ural Appropriation: The 2013 AMAs Happened, So Here Are Some Performances And Thoughts

The 2013 American Music Awards! Yeah, that happened tonight. While I'm currently 50 shades of overit.com/cannot after having covered 2 hours of red carpet footage (WHY) and 3 full hours of performances and acceptance speeches for made up awards that have no significant clout in the music industry,…